Redefining Self-Love
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Unconditional love is noble but selfless love is weak. You cannot give love without loving yourself. The root of all happiness, good health, success, wealth and healthy relationships is your self- worth and all else are just shadows of how you see and accept yourself.
Selfishness is such a misunderstood word. It defies a thin line from greed. Being greedy means taking more than you need. However, being selfish means making self-care as your first priority. There's nothing wrong with that. It's okay to fill your needs first for it makes you strong.
Our culture has a very definite impression for selfishness. We associate it for being arrogant, greedy and cruel. On the other hand, selfless acts such as giving most of what you have for others or taking care of other people first are viewed as heroic and noble. We are conditioned to think that way. It is mostly found in the teachings of religions and media. It’s hard not to adapt such kind of mindset for it is justified by everyone including the authority figures like our mentors. Therefore, such mentality is deeply ingrained in our minds that it makes us feel guilty whenever we take care of our own needs first. Such concept pulls us back to expectations. When we give enormously to others, it creates an expectation that other will do the same.
There is nothing wrong with taking care of others and expecting that others will take care of you in return. Teamwork is such a beautiful concept. It is beautiful, but not always. Imagine paying a huge percentage of tax to the government and expecting that the government will take care of you when you retire. Will you wait until age 65 to find out if the social security will really take care of you? Of course, they will pay you a specified amount of money but the value of what you have paid for taxes will never match the value of your retirement funds. Think of inflation. Think of corruption. Think of all the economic downfall that could possibly happen. It’s not your fault, it could be a fault of those people in authority. But blaming and complaining is such a waste of time that deprives us of a sense of responsibility and ownership. However, it is definitely your fault to expect.
If you’ve ever helped a friend during his most challenging times, it was your choice to help. It will not make him less of a person if he doesn’t return the favor to you. Gratitude springs from free will and it’s never mandatory. Helping is an act of free will. It’s not an investment where you should expect a profitable return.
People who love themselves first are independent. They are self- sustaining. They can stand alone with a very strong foundation. They are the true givers that give value from their own resources. The primary purpose of life is EXPANSION. And there is a sense of expansion in developing yourself to your fullest potential and sharing who you are to the world. You cannot share what you don't have. You have to grow and be strong. You have to develop your wings to fly and be purposeful to the world. :)