Schizophrenia Sucks

I'm Mike and I have schizoaffective disorder. That means I have schizophrenia and depression. I also have PTSD. I'm covered in scars from head to foot. I have good days and bad days. Schizophrenia is NOT multiple personalities. It also doesn't mean violence or stupidity. But, it's different for everyone.
It doesn't necessarily mean sexual promiscuity, either, but some schizophrenics are extremely sexual. I never was which is why I didn't catch any STDs.
I'm a family man with a wife and daughter.
The types of hallucinations I have are mostly auditory. I hear noises a lot, like hisses and pops, things scraping and dragging. I occasionally hear voices in my head that make comments about what I'm doing or saying and they criticize my actions.
Some schizophrenics hear voices and think they're from God, but I don't. My last set of doctors said I have greater than average insight into my condition and I have good reality testing.
Sometimes, but rarely, I have visual hallucinations.
Despite having my family I am profoundly alone. No one likes to talk about the things I'm interested in, things like music, movies, codes, numbers, entities, colors, etc.
Maybe I'm dead and in hell. I died before in a car wreck but came back to life. That was an unintentional initiation which opened my inner spiritual eye. I'm in a well, a windswept cavern that shreds my spirit. I reach out and no one's ever there, even though when I'm by myself I'm never alone and in crowds I'm absolutely alone. I'm stuck in a temporal loop but I keep getting older and my vertebrae keep crumbling.
Okay.