You Don’t Get What You Deserve in Life (or Steemit), You Get What You Negotiate
The title of this post is so very true and is something I like to think of anytime I get frustrated with the results of something or feel I’m not being given fair value.
I'm sure many of you who have these moments when it comes to steemit.
Are we Really Owed Anything?
In the end, no one really owes us anything. We choice to help people or we don’t. We choose to share valuable knowledge with people or we don’t.
If someone asks you for something, the onus is on you whether you will help them or charge a fee. To have an “unspoken expectation” of something in return is on you, not them.
Yes, there is common decency. Yes, I feel if I provide value to someone continuously they should show their appreciation for it.
I certainly do so when the roles are reversed, but that is my decision.
They are not obligated to think that way (though I wish they were).
I Deserve Better
If you ever hear yourself uttering those words than know this;
- You are the only one that can impact that!
How Do We Get What We Deserve?
By learning how to find win-win scenarios instead of being the one getting the raw side of a interaction, transaction or what have you.
Simplest way to do that is acquire some knowledge so you have the confidence to ask for what you believe you are worth.
My recommendations is the following book:
- Never Split the Difference – by Chris Voss
He discusses how splitting the difference usually leaves both parties unsatisfied and teaches techniques to find the "happy place" if you will. The spot where you feel valued and they feel like they are getting a good deal.
Okay Okay, but how does any of this relate to Steemit?
That is a good question, we cannot exactly negotiate on steemit – or can we?
Interaction on steemit is key - however let me first discuss what that does not mean:
Commenting on people's post with "Good Job, following you now follow me!"
- Uhm, yeah...no. That is not genuine and you probably copy pasted that into 100 posts
That example is the antithesis of quality genuine interaction.
Interaction = Friendship and Friendship = Interaction
In many cultures, and much more so in Asian than in American cultures, friendship is a win-win scenario.
When you are friends with someone you look to grow and uplift one another, which in the long run is a better end result for both parties than when one person takes advantage or leverages another.
Embracing the Steemit Community
By embracing the steemit community and truly opening yourself up to meet and get to know new friends you will eventually find those that look to uplift you just as you uplift them.
It won't happen overnight, but what good things ever do?
Plus, you will run into some people that are selfish and don't give a damn about others. It is what it is, those people will either not be on steemit for long once they have exhausted their money grab or you can simply end your interaction with them once you realize they are only out for themselves.
Remember, we are a product of those we associate with, so.....
Find and Keep Good Company!
Post Images from: Pixabay
Love the title. A very true statement.
My Australian friend who has been living and investing in the US for the last year has been very disappointed with that aspect of American culture. In Australia, true relationship and loyalty in business is most important. In the US, he's found that people just take what they can get from the relationship, then move on.
Hey, you should write your own book some day :)
Funny you mentioned that - I have a book on real estate investing that can be found at ScaredycatGuide BookStore or on Amazon Kindle: Investing in Rental Properties
And yeah your friends sentiment is why I love Australia and was so close to staying there for good instead of coming back to the States back when I visited for a couple months.
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One of my favorite Stones songs! Nice! How could I not upvote this :-)
I figured it fit the theme of your post! 😉
Well said my friend. Thanks for the book share. I truly believe that if you build solid friendships here on steemit then you stand a better chance at being successful. But you are right there are people in this world that will only take care of themselves. Thanks for the share. Resteemed.
Exactly, much appreciated my friend. :-)
In my opinion many people do take care of other people too much.
Sometimes I wish they would focus on theirselves.
But theres the next problem: Everyone presumes that focusing on himself means ignoring other peoples opinion, freedom, feelings or whatever in order to get himself forward.
Author is definitely followed, you're spreading some wisdom people need to know! Unfortunately they need to.
Running circles again. Greetings from Germany!
Good read! What you said here is true, especially the part where you comment and ask people to follow you, that's not how you game here.
I went to a great seminar a few years ago, it was about people being givers and receivers; most people will give in expectation of receiving. Just as important, most people who receive understand that they should reciprocate in some way.
This works perfectly, until that 'taker' arrives on the scene, you know that person at your work, who is happy to let everyone get them coffee all day, is happy to let everyone else do the grunt work, while they do the high profile stuff.
This isnt imagination, those people really exist, and their typical effect on the give/receive dynamic in a social group; catastrophic.
People start not wanting to risk doing nice things for one another, because now they got the reality thrust in their face, that there may be no return.
The statistics we saw showed that the selfish 'taker' people, transition through social groups quickly, and while they may have some short lived success in the form of promotions at work or becoming a leader in a social group, their inability to be un-selfish ultimately leaves them isolated, and they need to move on.
The seminar had actual statistics that the best way to deal with the 'takers', is to be a chump and keep giving to them, they ultimately undo themselves anyway, and when they have to excuse themselves, you still have the social standing of being a good citizen in the group.
Enjoyed your post, upvoted, resteemed and followed you.
I wonder if it was a taker speaking at the seminar...hahaha. Kidding aside though, yes that essential is what happens and I feel like those people will come and go in steemit, but once their money grab runs out of momentum off to the next thing! So yeah, be nice...if they get a couple bucks from my votes before they are gone, then I got off cheap.
Yeah that thought about the speaker being a taker did cross my mind ;) Id forgotten that the the other important part of dealing with the taker dynaminc is to only give what you are good at, what the group finds you are truly expert at. So yeah, running and getting coffee when no-one gets you one back, is nice but in a work scenario is wasting your time, but freely giving those unique things that you are better at than enyone else, is the best strategy.
Not sure if that part really translates to steem.
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Great words,
Love, DoWithLove
Thats pretty interesting indeed.
That's a good read. Thanks!