Parts of the world actually implode as 16-year-old guy hears his own voice on tapesteemCreated with Sketch.

in #satire7 years ago (edited)

Vast parts of Umeå and adjacent areas in Northern Sweden actually imploded as 16-year-old Göran Skeppstedt heard his own voice on tape last Monday. Göran’s desire to disappear from the earth’s surface was so strong that it lead to the entire region of Northern Sweden going missing, reports suggest.

Göran used to feel that he was of equal value to his peers, who have gotten pretty dark voices already. However, the 16-year-old has not been willing to face the reality of his somewhat late puberty, and the discrepancy between his voice self image and reality resulted in a breakdown of the existing quantum mechanical structure of particle physics on a quark level.

The incredible implosion could be felt as far as 3000 kilometers away from the energetic epicenter. The event was allegedly also detected by people meditating in caves all across Europe. Researchers at the laboratory of Cern, Switzerland, stated that the event caused detectable disturbances in their particle accelerator, and that the particles “acted strange” just around the same time Göran heard his own voice.

In the aftermath of the implosion, quantum physicists have issued a statement warning adolescents against listening to recordings of themselves.

“Exposure to the recorded sound waves of one’s own voice may lead to dramatic and fatal shifts in the chakras that are connected with the world’s energetic fields, and should be treated with great caution”, the statement wrote.

http://scandinavianjournal.com/

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Wow! Meditation is an amazing guide for everyday life.

Dont you hate it when that happens? Quite unacceptable.

Yes, metaphysical implosions really, really suck.

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