Florists celebrate intelligence of impending terror attack - satire.
When my father passed away unexpectedly almost eleven years ago, I was introduced to the economy of death. There were expenses galore. It started with the expense of bringing his body back home. He died in another city, unexpectedly. I don't need your sympathies, he and I didn't have a great relationship, still, it was a death, and then came the bills:
$800 for a 600 kilometer plane journey. Kaching, airline.
$1000 for the funeral home to prepare the body. Kaching, Funeral Director.
$9000 for the Casket, Burial Ceremony, and Church. Kaching, Industry of Death.
$500 in assorted flowers for the day he was lowered into the ground. Kaching, Florists.
My partner's father has an interesting theory on death. This extends to an absurd conclusion, and one which I will present as satire.
Every time a bomb goes off in the Western World, and ISIS claims responsibility, there is a mixture of emotion in the house of the florist. They know they're going to be busy. They know they're going to have countless people come through their doors, be it that they known the deceased, or do not.
Therefore, every time a terrorist attack claims innocent lives, and the world, media, and citizens of social media cry out for the futility of death, and the loss of innocence, Florists have their busiest trading periods. Everyone is quick to attack the terrorist ideology, but what about the florists? They're just capitalists cashing in on death.
Sure, they provide flowers for funerals just as much as they may for happy occasions, like the weddings that lead to divorces.
What other industries benefit from the death and destruction from a terrorist attack? Who else colludes with the organisations to form a most robust conspiracy? Clearly, hearse drivers. The mechanics that service these vehicles.
Don't forget about the undertakers, ministers of religion, and countless "sell-ebreties" that pour out meaningless words via twitter or the other inferior social networking platforms. Lumberjacks are particularly sinister in this vein, being required to chop down trees in order to allow talented woodworkers to make boxes in which we bury our dead. Every industry can make a kaching! sound from their cash register as soon as the church bell tolls to announce a death.
So, for a moment, the next time you see news of a terrorist attack, don't think about the ideology that is behind the blast, or runaway truck, think about the capitalist machine printing money as soon as the news prints from the press.
Did you ever see a terrorist attack on a florists store? Me neither.
I've never seen a hearse be the vehicle used in a ram-raid either!
That was dark and at the same time a hilarious conspiracy theory
Interesting take on it and it does actually make sense ;-) My father used to always make the same joke every time he passed by a cemetery.
Uff, interesting thoughts. Where have we arrived? How do we go back? Only we can move forward and get over this kind of thinking and acting. Thanks for triggering thoughts. Satire is powerful.
The military industrial complex, central banks, politicians. They are the ones that make the big money and have the most to gain out of the misery.
Personally, I'd just like to be thrown in the ocean when I die but I've been told that it is illegal. My Mom died almost 2 years ago and you are right about the expenses. It's a bit of a racket if you ask me.