SHOCKING NEW FINDINGS! Evidence against the Claim that Steam is " The Coolest State of Water" A Case for Ice.

in #satire8 years ago (edited)

image of a polar bear cub, being adorable while on a map of a cold place. 

As you probably already know because of how big a discovery it was,  I broke the news in a ground breaking report that "The Glaciers are melting as a result of steam being the coolest state of water" Based on research by Dr. Wartsmith of the Research Institute of Ice, Water, Steam and That's It. 

Well there are a group of rogue anthropologists/researcher that are refuting this claim. The group is going as far as to state that, Ice is, in fact, the superior state of water. The group goes by the acronym IIB and has yet to disclose the meaning. I have no idea why. But what I can say is that some of their counter evidence points are very convincing. 

We won't sit around and let Dr.Wartsmith make outlandish claims based on little to no evidence he has for steam. His case, like steam itself is vanishing quickly. - IIB Representative 

The IIB is gearing up to launch a full fledge anti steam campaign that they are calling "The Ice Age." We managed to get a few files disclosed through our source and the proposed evidence is shocking, see for yourself.

1. Cold showers are in fact, on the rise among fitness communities because hyperventilating is good for, ask wim hof. 

2. It is ice that preserved pre-hominid species and led to breakthroughs in science. If we would have left it up to steam then we all might still be thinking a bearded white guy did it.

3. It was an iceberg that sunk the Titanic, a steam-powered boat. Therefore, ice beats steam, and in a similar dynamic as how paper beats rock.

4. Ice is proven to protect your heart from being broken constantly. 

5.  Mr. Freeze is a fictitious SUPERvillian who has been portrayed on television and film as one of the leading adversaries to Batman. Mr. Incredibles best friend was a ice superhero. Sub-zero and cyber sub-zero wrecked house in mortal combat. Sorry steampunk, stick to the twilight saga.  

6.  Ice Cube - a symbol for success and ambition within inner city youth and a legend in the Hip-Hop community. 

7. Ice Cubes - the reason why anyone still lives close to the equator. 

8. Ice Cream - there has not been "Steam Cream" trucks driving around neighborhoods bring joy to children for over 50 years. 

9. There is a physical relationship with breaking ice and attracting females. 

10. Ice Hockey and Iceland.

Albeit the findings, ironically are less grounded as that of steams, they exist and should be considered and researched vigorously. We will update with the validity of these findings after we have done more research into the case. If you have any evidence for either side, please contact us immediately.  

#science #steemit #satire #academia #funny

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