Work from home vs go out to work my opinion

After my first child I made the decision to give up work and stay at home to look after her. I had a good career and had worked my way up the ladder and although I was over committed and it was a lot of hours, it also paid a lot of money.
I stumbled across a job working from home - Scam I hear you all yell ! But it actually isn't .
I write from home and work for a company but on a self employed basis, I'm not selling goods or advertising or on commission only , I literally do my work and email over my invoice for them to pay monthly.
My earnings aren't set I have good months and bad months but on adverage earn what I would from a part time job after childcare and petrol. So it's a no brainer stay at home and do that its so much easier than going out to work - Wrong!
So I work when the children are in bed so start at 7.30pm and work till I need to, often past 12pm. This means that I don't have time after they are in bed to clean or iron or sit in peace. I have to tidy and clean the house, food shopping etc during the day with the kids . Also If in this time after bedtime, the children wake up , I stop and sort that all out I also have to find the time to eat my dinner and if not prepared already make my husbands dinner.
So it's hard work and tiring as I'm up late everyday , but I get quality time with my kids all day everyday ? - well yes and no ....
I do get to do things with the kids that I couldn't if I was at work and can do them when things are a bit quieter during the week ( althou little lady starts school in sept so that will end ) BUT I don't earn as much as I could do so don't have much extra cash and also have to do the house work, washing, ironing etc around them . They help and we make games out of it but it's not quality time as such. Then as I feel so guilty that I'm at home while others work and maybe my kids are missing out , I basically run my day like a nursery , we do activities, go for walks, read, build etc So from 7am - 12pm i literally do not stop and its hard . People also make assumptions that I can do whatever I want all day and that makes it harder, I don't personally feel I get offered the help from friends and family with the kids as much as I would if I physically went out to work. I'm pretty sure if I said I was doing a 16hour shift everyday and then one of the kids had been up every hour in the night teething , someone would be offering help or telling me to slow down but it seems as as I don't physically leave the house it's not classed as work.
The social / personal side has also been an issue , going out to work means you gain your own time , yes you are at work it's not like you go to work and do nothing , but you are joe blogs not Hollys mummy or daddy , you have adult friends you have work events, you can use a handbag rather than your child's rucksack full of nappies to put your purse and phone in , you are you . I love my children but surely everyone would agree a little space away from the little monkeys is good right ? I also have the guilt - it's mummy guilt - have I done the right things for my children are they missing out because they don't go to a nursery as often as others ?
So why do it , I hear you ask . If it's that bad get a job you have to go out to ?
Well the truth is yes it's hard and it's not as easy as people think but I'm the only one that suffers the tiredness etc my children see me everyday, I don't miss mealtimes , school times , first steps, when they are sick etc I'm there to do it all . I feel for people going to work , yes when you get in and the kids are in bed you might get to sit in front of the Tvfor an hour but you have things to do to , you have the worry about the childcare setting your children are in and leaving them when they aren't well or missing firsts . I am so grateful I can do it all with them, I will go back out to work one day ( to be me again ) when they are both at school but until then I'm the mum in the playground that people think doesn't work and probably judge because she looks like she's been dragged threw a bush backwards every day
But behind the scenes I do work very hard to be able to be in that playground everyday
Thanks for reading X