My sad story - I fall in love with all the beautiful guys who do not pay attention to me

All my life I did not love each other. Since childhood, when I liked a boy, I was not interested in him and vice versa.

I do not understand what is the reason, I'm pretty, funny (I think) I often walk, try to lead a correct way of life. And once again I fell in love and again the same situation, again I'm not interested in him.

I constantly fall in love with handsome men who like everything, I can not do anything about it. Boys who like me, I'm absolutely not interested, or even if there is the slightest sympathy, I recognize the person closer and start looking for defects in him, and at once my sympathy disappears. And when I fall in love, he seems to me to be an ideal, that's how my love lasts about a year.

We have met for a long time, walked together, never really talked much, but when I came home, I could not stop thinking about him, saying how beautiful he was, I try not to talk, but all my attempts are vain. On further relations with him, and there can be no talk, he is not so good a man, we have a completely different worldview and I understand all this, but I can not stop loving. As soon as the feelings begin to fade, he is reminded of himself, and I'm again crazy about him. I do not understand what's wrong with me, why I do not always love each other, and why knowing that we do not have a future, I continue to go crazy?

I tried to switch and not think, but then he began to dream of me. I tried to communicate with him, we walked, but we were very different and all the time there was a misunderstanding, there were no special common themes, or I just could not say a word, because I was so worried that I would say something wrong. I do not understand why I'm so attracted to inaccessibility. I know for sure that we do not fit in with each other, but we can not stop loving and not think, and even if we stop loving, how not to fall in love again when I see you in the same company? And in general, how to stop falling in love is not mutual, it is very painful, how to stop looking for shortcomings in people whom I like and start a normal communication with them?