Do you want to visit SteemFest 4, which will be held in the hot capital of Asia, where will my favorite acquaintances? Of course, but I have their own reflections and counterbalances to my desire to go. If you are interested: will I write now!

So: my Wanting, Reflections, Obstacles and Doubting - now here and now😲

• Wanting

Recently, I read in the article @anomadsoul, that SteemFest 4 will be held in the capital of the tropical country Thailand in Bangkok. Wow, I thought to combine my favorite festival, where I would see my friends and an exciting trip to a hot country, would be great. Maybe, I could go. Moreover, I never traveled, if you look at the map the right side of the world from Ukraine.

So, decided! The desire is undoubtedly!

• Obstacles reflections and analysis

• Very expensive flight

I spent an hour studying the fares to Bangkok. I searched for different sites and from the usual prices the cheapest flights, that I saw was $700 for one (we will need three) and it's just galaxy sum for us.Later I searched on different low-cost websites and the cheapest one I found there for one person was $400, this is usually better than $700, but everywhere for three it turns out more than $1,000 just for the flight. And still a ticket to SteemFest, accommodation and meals.

• Very long and difficult flight.

And still unfamiliar country. In fact, this is an obstacle and my mother's fear, so I just describe it as a fact.

• Doubting

• This is rather, personally, big obstacles for me.
I believe that this year I have not done much and I do not know how I will go to the next SteemFest4 in Bangkok.**

I did not finish all my start stories and videos about travel to SteemFest 3 and Bugapest,
including the project "Steemitonboarding" I wanted to join. It may sound ridiculous, but the reason was that I do not think I have good sound recording equipment to create quality content for this project.

It's been a lot of months since we visited SteemFest. I have not even published Vlogs from SteemFest 3 so far. I made so many videos. After, that we visited Budapest, there we also met many adventures and I took vlog there too. My program for mounting has expired. And I still have not published anything yet.
And everyday life began. And everything was delayed on long long time. And for a long time I did not do anything. I'm ashamed of lack my activity before some people on steemit. And now I am afraid to go to SteamFest 4 to look into their eyes.

**• English obstacles **

The second reason for me is also a difficult subject - English. Who has been familiar with me on SF3, you've heard my English. I feel ashamed that for all this time, there was no time to teach English. I have everything in my head messed up and I have forgotten all the bases and I am now in a big corkscrew. Who wants to become my effective English teacher?!!
My mother @olga.maslievich, supports me and says that we are still will learnt English and there is a high probability that we will go to Thailand. Maybe we will win a ticket and accommodation - everything can be.

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** Will tell in advance, that if you are afraid to go to the SteemFest because you think, that you will not be comfortable there, then I immediately say that you do not need to be afraid of this. **

By the way - here is my experience of my impressions of the past steemit festival 3, as an example:

When we were on SteemFest 3, it was an incredible emotion and joy for me. I do not know why, but all of these people seemed to me to be relatives.

When I remember this event I cry. I don't know, if this is just my dream world is possible, but for me it was something amazing.