Review of 'Let's Get Ready to Rumble' by 'musicians' Ant and Dec

The following is a critical appraisal of the popular music composition "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" by the duo Anthony McPartlin and Declan Donnelly; then operating under the pseudonyms 'PJ & Duncan'.

Now in its 23rd year, the song continues to inspire indifference across vast swathes of northern England, where the pair originate. Introduced to the viewing public as part of the national broadcaster's regional diversity initiative, they had their start as actors in the moving drama, Byker Grove, before making their break as musical artists in their own right.

This particular piece starts with an evocative call to arms; "Let's get ready to rumble" - a refrain which repeats several times, encouraging us towards an indeterminate yet compelling course of action. It is not clear at this stage to the listener whether this is a political message; perhaps an echo of the pro-socialist tradition endemic in the region, a nihilistic post-modern commentary, or a more general cry of disenfranchisement.

It is at this stage, as the listener begins to get an inkling of the direction that their particular artistic expression is going in that they introduce the tantalising prospect that they imminently intend to destroy the sound equipment with which the song is being recorded.

"Watch us reck the mic"
"Watch us reck the mic"

I, for one, was eminently encouraged by this turn of events as it was rapidly becoming obvious at this point in the rendition (that is, at the 0:07 timestamp, if you're listening along) that this would likely result in a significant improvement to the auditory experience.

It is at this point that the narrative takes an unforeseen and unwelcome turn. Despite their promises, it becomes apparent that the foregoing suggestion was an elaborate ruse, as they stun the audience with their magician's reveal, conveyed succinctly with what evidently the somewhat mispronounced, or more likely vernacular word:

"Psyche!"

They continue in this vein, repeating their call to prepare for a 'rumble' which to all intents and purposes never actually materialises. As the video does not have a seismology undertone to it, it is doubtful that this was the intent of the message.

However, despite this lack of overall clarity their linguistic prowess is demonstrated admirably by the following lines:

I'm Ant
I'm Declan
A duo
A twosome
So many lyrics
We're frightened to use them
So many lyrics
We'll keep them in stores
We've even got them
Comin' out of our pores

One can only sympathise with their condition. Although it's not clear how they contracted this heretofore unknown verbal leprosy, it does go some way to explaining the largely incoherent remainder of the song. While they repeat, and again renege on, their promise to destroy the sound equipment, as well as failing to actually manifest the 'rumble' that appears to be the entire premise of the rendition, in light of their admitted medical issues I believe we can overlook these shortcomings.

Overall, C minus for effort

["Let's Get Ready to Rumble"] (

) < link that you want

Thankfully the two have since stopped inflicting their efforts at music on the general public, and their singing careers died a natural death. Unfortunately, however, this story has a sad ending as they didn't quite manage to fade into obscurity, but rather were reincarnated as talking heads on one inane TV show after another. To this day, they continue to be prized by audiences for their bland laddish vapidity, and remain firmly joined at the hip, continuing to feign relevance on some late-night 'entertainment' show, while the most interesting thing either of them seems to have done in years is crash their car a few times