So You Want To Own A Restaurant! - Letter to Randell M's Girlfriend

Dear Randell M's Girlfriend,

I wanted to reach out to you in writing as my own way of thanking you for calling on behalf of your boyfriend, Randell yesterday. It was clear from our conversation that you (and I'm assuming Randell) are aware he is no longer employed at our restaurant. I can only assume your love for him abounds given your willingness to contact me in an attempt to ameliorate an unfortunate situation.

It is a frequent occurrence that we do not hear from former employees in any form or fashion after they stop coming to work and so I was delighted when you called for the purpose of informing me his schedule has been "so crazy" due to your recent health issues and that he had been "very upset" because he wasn't going to be able to work yesterday.

We are unhappy any time our employees are facing the illness of a loved one and we know it can sometimes wreak havoc on their ability to meet their regular workaday commitments. Of course, we prefer to hear the story from the employee himself before the fact (if possible) or at least during or after the fact (when not possible.) It would appear that Randell was so emotional as to be rendered unable to call us himself, but luckily he's got you on his side!

As we discussed on the phone, we were not surprised when Randell did not show up for his next shift as he had argued 2x with the Chef the night before about leaving early because his ride was waiting for him. During those discussions, Chef made it clear that Randell would not be allowed to continue working at the restaurant if he left early. Suffice to say, we took his absence as his de facto resignation. One thing we've learned in this business - actions speak so much louder than words!

Even if we were inclined to accept the situation as was described during our illuminating conversation, there is an additional issue which would cause us to let the opportunity to continue working with Randell pass. Specifically, it is our belief he might have been partaking-in the occasional (frequent) use of illegal substances while on the clock, substantiated by a number of different tell-tale signs common to many addicts.

Finally, I would like to make personal recommendation meant for you. As someone who is obviously interested in her boyfriend's well-being and continued employment, you might want to avoid anything that might make his employer think the two of you are actively smoking marijuana while you are speaking in his defense.

The sounds associated with one's speech while she is engaged in the act of deep inhalation and the holding of the smoke (so as to "get the most from that shit") followed by the long, loud exhale are only too commonly known - especially to someone who has smoked more than his fair share of pot in the past.

But, even if I had not ever smoked weed - and even if I had not associated the sounds I heard with smoking marijuana, I probably could not have escaped the reality of Randell's unmistakable voice as he implored you, "Comeoanbaaaaaby - doanbogartdatshiiiit..."

In closing, I wish you the best of luck with your ongoing health issues and both you and Randell the best as you pursue your loving relationship. I'm sure Randell will have many more opportunities to pursue his dreams as a dishwasher for many more restaurants in the coming weeks - especially with you acting as his agent.

Sincerely,
Marcus - Owner