So You Want To Own A Restaurant - Letter to Ramon S.
Dear Ramon S.,
Why so glum? Not only have you just collected your final paycheck as a former busser at our restaurant but you have also apparently been selected to play for the Philadelphia Phillies (was that the minors or the majors?) !
I really don't understand that really angry look on your face given the fact you have achieved a major or minor goal that so many young men dream about but will never reach!
Such lofty heights - and all the more surprising given the fact you stand no taller than my chest and I am, by all accounts, a fairly short man at only 5'6". (A quick look at the draft picks for 2016 shows that nobody on the team is less than 5'11" in height...)
More surprising still - You have been selected for the team even before trying out! I know right? It's pretty incredible! I know, because I was the one who approved your request to take time off beginning July 23rd for the express purpose of traveling first to Kansas for a family reunion and then to Philadelphia for... tryouts.
Now... I'm not going to even try to reconcile the fact that Philly tryouts are already over... I suppose you might have left earlier than you had told me you were going.. but... still... dunno... I just... dunno...
I know... I know... who would think a busy guy like me would remember any of it? I didn't. I smoked WAY too many drugs back when I was getting fired from and quitting alot of jobs myself... Luckily for both of us, I keep everything logged in the scheduling software we use to keep track of everything!
So... I was skeptical when your former peers mentioned to me that you told them you had "made the team!" I didn't remember the thing about tryouts, but I was still skeptical because why would the guy who had "made the team" come back to the kitchen with such a frown on his face and a terse, "Sir. Can I have my check please?"
Was it because you were angry that I asked you to go back out to the front? Was it because I gave you the "Yes Ramon, you are one of THOSE guys..." look while I gave you your check?
I don't think so.
My guess it is probably more related to the fact you and I both know you had tried to cash that OTHER paycheck you had previously asked me to stop because you had supposedly lost it and was it because we both know you stopped showing up after giving your two weeks notice because you were mad I didn't just bend over and hand you double the money?
Now... I will admit... I did go check the roster... just in case... I mean... I don't wish you bad luck. If you actually do make a team, I'll be happy for you! I will recommend though that you watch your money. We both know you might lose those checks!
Oh but look at the time! Haven't I just prattled on? You may not recognize it as such given how much you talked while you worked here. Nevertheless, I will leave you with a quote from... you! I think it sums up all of my thinking about you and the likelihood of you having been selected for a major or minor league baseball team much more concisely than I am, myself capable of expressing.
"I use my checks for livin' on and I use my tips for gettin' stupid on."
- Ramon S.
Sincerely,
David - Owner