What am I doing?

After several years of working at completely worthless jobs I finally found a job that is just "okay." Just "okay" in the sense that I don't dread going to work nor do I get excited about going to it. I have a desk job with amazing benefits and an excellent retirement package. The kind of retirement that most jobs don't have anymore. I am very lucky to have come this far. I worked my ass off to get to this point of having 1 hour lunches if I see fit, I walk 3 times a day to pass the time, I spend a majority of my day looking at charts whilst answering the phone and responding to emails. This job is mindless, a monkey could do it.

I've worked here for a year now and I was just handed paperwork signed by my supervisor saying that I was due for my yearly raise next month. I should be excited because I've made it. I deserve a raise, I've done my time, I've hit all of my sales goals since I've been here; but no I'm not excited! In fact I am sad, why you might ask? I'm leaving this job. Not because I want to but because I have to.

My partner and I live in the Bay Area where the price of living is out of this world. For example a 4 bedroom house in San Francisco cost $10,000 a month to rent. Yes you read that right and it is not a typo (Zillow.com). My partner found an amazing opportunity elsewhere where she will make a lot more money along with the price of living is a lot less. Therefore,our money will go a long way. However as for myself, I am totally screwed. We are headed into a cow tipping on a Saturday night type of place in other words we are moving from the city to the country. A place where there aren't many jobs and opportunities for someone like me. Which begs the question, who am I? What am I going to do now? What do I have to offer?

So far I've come up with the idea to teach myself how to code, learn JavaScript, programming with the hopes of finding an IT job in the near future. Other than that I have no plan and the last thing I want is to be working at the local lumber yard while wearing camouflage pretending to fit in. Once again I am a circle trying to fit into a square. I'm lost, frustrated, sad, scared and I'll be broke soon I'm sure. What the hell am I doing?!?