There is a God, He lives in me.

Gone are the days when a fool would say in his heart that there is no God. Nowadays, they raise their chin up, shoulders high and openly declare that there's no God. My question is why and how did they come to that conclusion ? There must have been an encounter that triggered that thought or belief. Maybe the death of loved ones, unanswered prayers and lot more. I know this because i was once down that line before.
 

A long time ago, someone asked me what was my worst fear. I thought about it deeply for a minute or two.
 

"Losing my Momma." I replied
 

My worst fear was not me losing my own life, not being uncertain of what my future holds, not being scared of not attaining success but it was losing my Momma because to me, she was my all in all, an epitome of motherhood, my strongest pillar.
 

Some years afterwards, my mum fell ill. It started midly but gradually, it became scary. I turned to God, i prayed like i have never before, ran from Prophet to prophet, church to church. I asked God for just one favour, let my Momma live. At the end, after all the prayers and all, i lost my Momma. That was it for me, there's no God, i had concluded. I stopped believing.
 

I became an atheist despite being the son of a Bishop, this went on until another encounter happened. A friend of mine went through a similar case, his mum was very sick and he also prayed to God to let his mum live and guess what ? His prayer was answered, his mum lived. Again, i was mad with anger and jealousy.  God answered him but didn't answer me. Then my belief shifted from God not existing to Him being biased.
 

Few months down the line, his mum was still alive but in a vegetative state. She couldn't move a joint, she could barely talk, she just laid in bed there for almost 3 months. She lost lot of weight, her hairs fell off, she pooped and peed where ever she was being laid on the hospital bed. My friend being her only child carried through the stress alone. At the end of the day, he broke down too. Doctor said it was stress, he had to be admitted too. Even in his sick state, he was still caring for his mum, this went on until after 3 months and the woman eventually died, after lots of suffering for both the son and her.
 

That was when it struck me, that could have been my Momma, i couldn't have dared to watch her suffer like that. Then i realised i had been a fool for even thinking in my heart that there's no God. There's a God and He does what is right and what we want. He knows our capacity and what we can withstand, He knows what's good for us and what's bad. After all, none of us supported him when he created heaven, earth and everything there in and they all turned out to be a great creation. Why then should we try to interfere with his perfect plans for our lives  ? Even Jesus died at his own time despite praying that God should roll the cup over him and then resurrected after the third day, that was God's plans.
 

He has his plans over our lives too, although sometimes it might seem like a bad plan but trust me, God's plans are never bad. Do not because of the death of that person you love so bad, turn against God. Do not let anyone confuse you that there's no God. Everyone has something they believe in, some people believe in God, some just believe in love and trust me, if you believe in Love, then you believe in God because God is love. Never say there's no God.
 

There is a God, He lives in me.