The Apostles Arguing Over What to Include ... (My "kinda crazy" series, part 2 ;)
"Seriously Luke, you can NOT put that in there. Nobody will believe it, and they will say we are ALL crazy. "
"Dude that's exactly what happened, and you saw it too."
"Sure, yes! I'm not saying lie about it, and you know I love Stephen - he's the best. But could you just not be SO specific? Please, I'm telling you, nobody is going to believe that one...
"And besides, John's already telling people that he could not write down ALL of the miracles Jesus did anyways, even if he lived to be 100. Which ain't too likely, with our crew you realize."
"Yup."
"Plus, PAUL says he's already working on an actual list for the newbies, okay? He's got nine already, and he just leaves stuff like that at "diverse miracles, signs and wonders" or whatever, without being too specific. That Paul guy is smart, I'm telling you."
"Fine… "great wonders and signs among the people" it is then. (Acts 6:9) I'll leave out the details, THIS TIME. Happy?"
"Well, no honestly since you asked. You're still going to tell the part about how Philip was translated across the desert to meet up with that eunuch?"
"Yes. He is starting a church back there you know? It's historical. People in Ethopia have to know he's with us. We can't just leave the guy hanging out there to dry."
"Not smart dude, that's all I'm saying. Stupid kids are going to try doing it themselves without the Holy Spirit if you include that, and then wind up splattered all over the cliffs."
"Then you'll just have to raise them from the dead, won't you? I'm including it, end of discussion."
"Damn you Luke! Just damn you, okay? And what about that snake that bit Paul?"
"Definitely that."
"Dude NO!! They thought HE was a god when they saw that one! You can't go telling people the crazier details of everything!"
"Well you better go talk to Mark too then, because he's telling people that serpents can't harm us either."
"Yeah, that one is so going to bite us on the ass eventually. We can't have people thinking that sort of stuff is normal and okay. They'll abuse the Gehenna out of it."
"Language Bill, how many times do I have to tell you to tone down your language?
Oh and hey, you're perfectly welcome to write your own account of how it all went down, you know? And is still going down…!"
"Pass. Writing is not exactly my gift, you know that. Too cerebral."
"Well shut up then, I've got work to do."
"Fine then. But I do NOT give you permission to tell ANYONE about my gifting, and experiences, or what we've seen the Holy Spirit do when I'm the one bringing the message."
"Aww, come on dude, that is some seriously great stuff! Like that time with the woman, and soldier who tried to - "
"No Luke. I said no, and I mean it. People will lock you up. OUR PEOPLE will lock you up if expect anyone to believe that one. It's crazy enough right now since Peter's vision has changed everything to this degree already. Absolutely not. What happened on that mountain was for that woman only, and will probably never ever happen again. There's just no point in telling it to everyone. Besides, you've got more than enough already."
"Fine then. You leave me alone to write what I know, and I will leave you out of it entirely."
"Whatever."
""Whatever" it is then. Now come give Luke a holy kiss goodbye."
"Screw you. I'm out...
"Besides, I feel a diverse sign and wonder coming on. I always get crazy claustrophobic right before it happens, I need some air."
"Language Bill, language...
"And ummmm, I am a doctor if you ever need to talk about that."
"Pass."
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Hey you might also like my "kinda crazy" Epistle on Fasting from yesterday ;)