Killed Lonely

His name is Andi, from the outside he looks like an ordinary young man who has no special privileges in him. But, no one knows that he is an introvert, or someone who has a condition where he prefers solitude and solitude. For him the only peace he gets when he dwells alone. Restlessness is when he is in the middle of the crowd, even when he was around his friends too, he did not feel alive. Of course this trait he did not get from birth, all started when he left his mother father in the village and settled in the city to study. Her parents were very much looking forward to her, to the only child they had. Acres of land they sell for the sake of sending their children to college.

Andi who had never known the association of the city is very difficult to adapt, no friends who want to hang out with him. I do not know what he's wrong, maybe his behavior or the way he dresses up makes people not want to be friends with him. As a result in the first semester of college its value dropped. Not because he is stupid, he just can not adapt to the campus environment that seems to cornering him and make him like a man who was marginalized. The classmate who was supposed to be a comrade-in-arms became a group of wild animals that gnawed his whole body down to the bone. He can not afford, unable to even just start a friendly conversation to one of his friends. From that moment he decided to be alone.

Not only in college life, in his environment he is also invisible. He did not socialize with neighbors. The only person who ever entered his small contract was only himself. Sometimes he tries to go in a crowded place where crowds hang out, go for walks, or just make friends. But there was only tormented. Abused by circumstances that he never understood. How can people in the distance joke around, play, and even make out and she is not part of it at all. He is invisible. Alone swallowed cold night and faint street lamps. He hates people, he hates crowds. Maybe it's better to be alone.



As time goes by, the first year of college is over, the value has come out. And again, its value is very apprehensive. He has lost his spirit of life. The only reason he was here was to go to college, and it was all crushed before his eyes. He remembered the circumstances of his parents who were very hopeful of his success. He felt guilty about wasting his parents' struggles. Confused and sad, he sat leaning against the corner of his room holding the two papers out of his lecture. He thinks about how his parents will not be disappointed with him. She picked up the photos of her parents' faces as she looked with a pitiful face, apologetic look, occasionally she kissed the photo. Her face was getting sadder, she could only blame herself even though she knew the world did not support her. He is very depressed, at times like this he needs is a friend's embrace at his side, but it is not possible. It seems to me that there is no point in living in this world. He was bowed headlong alone in his room.

Then in the corner of his eye he saw a bottle of insect poison standing against the edge of the wall of his room. Her lethargic eyes were instantly raised. Perhaps it would be better to end his misery. He was not able to face a world so cruel to him. Again he could not bear to see the tears of his parents who were disappointed with him. At least by ending his life, he will not see the sadness of his parents.

He also got up, walked limply and took the poison. Now, now is the time. Let the world know that he is a victim of the injustice of life. It's like a pebble among a pile of diamonds. It does not matter anymore. Quickly he drank the liquid sliding into his throat. A second later he was uprooted. His body was convulsive, his eyes turned white, he was instantly dead and lying stiff ...

In the darkness, he realized that suicide was not the only way to solve the problem. In fact it is not one way. He raised his bowed head, he finished his daydream about the act of ending the life. He realized, his life should not end up humiliated like that. He got up and started walking outside his room. He paused at the door and turned to the poison of insects leaning against the wall, smiling triumphantly. He went.

Now the wudhu watering rinse his face and parts of his body, he knows that even though the whole world away from and hostile to him, but God will never leave him. God is always with him, it's just that he's been too far away and now is the time to get closer. Soon he began to pray. In the middle of her prostration her tears flow.