Facebook and Friendships

For sometime now, I have gone close to not posting anything on Facebook - except for occasional ones that I purposely put out there to update my relatives about my kids. I am still on there, yeah - lurking around, just observing. There were posts that made me interested. There were those that didn't. There were also those that I thought would start a fire. If you know what I mean.

Image Source

Today, I woke up to messages from two different people (colleagues from previous work). Both seeking justification that they were right. All started with friend number 1 posting overly numerous photos every hour about their trip. Which triggered friend number 2 to post how irritated she was seeing their faces on her timeline every hour. That resulted to friend number 1 posting something that was indirectly addressed to friend number 2 saying how offended she was.

I must say it was a tough situation being in the middle. These are both friends and I had to be cautious with every word I say. I'm no guidance counselor but I seem to be one in the eyes of my former colleagues. It happened too many times that they come to me to resolve conflicts. I just take consolation in the fact that hey, they trust me enough to hear my thoughts.

Image Source

So, really... Should Facebook be your diary? Does the greeting that says "What's on your mind" need be answered in full detail? Covering every angle of your side of the story? Posting every snap of what happens to you every minute? Is there really such thing as over-sharing? How do you know if you are?

My thoughts about friends 1 and 2.

Yes, there is such a thing as over sharing. Some people just aren't fond of up to the minute updates, if so they would have subscribed to your version of Big Brother. Was I wrong when I advised friend number 1 that she should have waited for all pictures to be taken then post at the end of the day in one album just to avoid flooding other people's feeds?

I'm not saying it is wrong to over share. I just think people should be considerate. Some are on facebook to get updates about loved ones they have not seen for a while, about an accident that happened nearby, about an emergency situation somewhere. I remember that time when typhoon Haiyan hit the country, Facebook was faster than any news team. And I hated that I see selfies instead of updates about the situation.

It isn't wrong to share about what's going on in your life but, for me, everything you do doesn't need to be seen or heard. Stop broadcasting every highs and hiding lows. Truly live a life and stop convincing the world you have a life. Share - but have a mental note of what should and not be shared.

And for friend number 2, it is their life, it is their page. True that they can post whatever they like. But, if it annoys you in some ways, for heaven's sake, you two are friends. Stop bickering about it in public. Have coffee, talk about it! Facebook is not your life. I was agreeing with you that they were annoying but aren't you coming off as annoying too? Indirectly talking about them on Facebook? And if you don't know yet, that's what unfollow button is for.

This had me thinking... Back in the days, I used to write in a journal before I go to bed. I'm sure others did too. Remember when we all had diaries and got mad when someone reads them? What happened to that.

In a world where everything is exposed, wouldn't it be nice if you can maintain your mystery?

Thanks for reading! I'd appreciate if you leave your two cents too about this topic.

Love,
Jonah (and John)