Guide to a "Perfect" Relationship

Nowadays majority of the people are concerned about finding true love and a lasting relationship, and while it appears to be something absolutely normal and common, only few people can actually claim that they do have a “perfect” relationship with their partner.

What do we mean by ’perfect relationship’? In my opinion we can consider a relationship “perfect” (in quotation marks because… nothing is perfect except for Allah [SWT]) if the partners are satisfied with it without having any reservations, if it is stimulating and edifying in every aspect of life and if they accept each other the way they are. There are views according to which it is impossible to have a relationship like this, but I strongly disagree with this theory.

The first aspect that we need to note is the way couples should make an effort to understand each other. It is essential for a working relationship for the partners to really accept each other and sometimes to see the world the way the other sees it. The easiest way for this is to talk a lot, discuss our views on the world and share our thoughts about certain experiences we had. It is also very important to know and understand our motives, goals in life or our plans for the future, which can be quite stimulating mentally if the partners are both equally interested in each other.

I know that while trying to understand your partner, it is inevitable that you find something that you don’t like. That is when you get to the second aspect of a working, “perfect” relationship: tolerating each other. This means that you need to get over small things the other does or says in order to maintain a peaceful and loving atmosphere. Being in a relationship means that you came to love someone for a certain way they are, and if so, you shouldn’t have any intention of changing them. You need to accept each other’s flaws and not to scold them for behaving, thinking or feeling the way they do - and have been doing all their life – this can be really healthy as it helps you to have a balanced emotional life. On the other hand, people change over time because of all the influence our environment has on us, and that means that relationships change too. Both partners need to decide to change themselves to accommodate each other’s wishes, desires, and while that should be natural, it is not when you force it.

In order to have a good relationship, you also need to encourage your partner to strive to be better – and as I have mentioned before, this is all about helping the other, and not about forcing. A relationship cannot be healthy if it’s about just one person or if it’s about the partners trying to have their way in it. A relationship is always about two people, and you have to act accordingly. Encouraging and supporting the other can help in every part of your lives: for example, in sports, in their career or just in simple things, as in having a healthy diet.

Some people say that all relationships are meant to cease – lovers break up or married couples divorce – because everyone is different, and over the years these small differences turn into huge gaps that cannot be crossed. In a sense, yes, I understand this view, but to make a relationship work the partners have to be absolutely sure they give all they can and strive to make it work, and if you’re constantly searching for flaws and mistakes, or if you’re just obsessed with what you want, let me tell you, it won’t be perfect.

A/N:I thought sharing this short essay I wrote a few years back could give a bit of insight for people who have trouble finding a stable relationship or those who have some problems in their already existing one.
About myself: I've been happily married for almost two years now, and I'm glad to say that if you just follow these simple instructions (advices?) the relationship that you've been having troubles with is gonna change drastically for the better.