The secret to every successful relationship
In any type of relationship, whether it's romantic, a friendship, between parents and children, or even in marriage, there are two fundamental things you need to know to make the connection work: what the person loves and what they hate. Without this knowledge, it becomes difficult to maintain a healthy bond because, unintentionally, you might end up repeating behaviors that emotionally distance the other person. Those who have experienced this know how it feels: small gestures or attitudes can create distance, even if it’s not intentional.
A practical example of this comes from my own experience with my father. When I was younger, I learned to connect better with him by understanding what he loved and what he didn’t like. My siblings, for instance, noticed that I had an easier time asking him for things because I knew the right moment to talk to him. I would observe when he came home tired from the military and avoided asking for anything at that moment. Instead, I would thank him, ask how his day had been, and only later, at another time, would I make my request. This ability to notice what pleases and displeases others is something I developed from a young age, and it applies to all the relationships I have today.
With my wife, for example, I know exactly what she loves and what she hates. She doesn’t like it when I leave a wet towel on the bed, but what she really dislikes is when she’s talking to me and I’m not looking into her eyes, distracted by my phone or the TV. If I want to start an argument, all I have to do is keep ignoring her while she’s speaking. But by respecting these boundaries and understanding what makes her happy, our relationship grows stronger. The more you emphasize what the person loves and avoid what they hate, the greater the chances of the relationship succeeding.
And this doesn’t just apply to human relationships. The same principle holds true for our relationship with God. In His perfection, He has made it clear in Scripture what He loves and what He hates, so that we can connect better with Him. There are five things God loves and seven that He hates, and understanding this is essential to deepening our relationship with Him. Often, we don’t receive what we ask for because we don’t know what pleases the Lord. As the apostle James says, "You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly." That’s why it’s crucial to know God’s heart, to understand what brings Him joy and what saddens Him.
Tonight is an opportunity for you to deepen your relationship with God. Grab a pen and paper, because this message is a study, a call for you to improve your connection with Him. Prepare your heart, because by understanding what God loves and what He hates, you will be building a stronger and more genuine relationship, not only with Him but with everyone around you.