Healthy Relationship Tip #10: Love Is Neither Blind Nor Ignorant: It’s A Conscious Decision Based On Knowledge
Love doesn’t blind you to the fault of your partner, it makes you see it and enables you to decide if you can live with it should such aspect of your partner never changes or improves.
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I think the statement that “love is blind” is a big misinformation or I should call it a "self deception". It’s a misinformation because love is not supposed to be ignorant. Love seeks to know who the individual is and makes a decision based on what is known. This is the only way that love can be preserved. Love that is based on the knowledge of whom an individual actually is doesn’t fade away easily.
Some people interpret the “love is blind” statement to mean; "overlooking or ignoring the shortcomings of one’s partner". The question that I would love to ask those with such a view is “how long can you keep overlooking or ignoring your partner’s fault should he/she decides not to change?” The truth is that; everyone of us has a breaking point and we’re certainly going to get fed up one day of having to tolerate such fault in our partner that we never bargained for in the onset of the relationship. This is why it is necessary that you have a considerable knowledge of your partner in the beginning of the relationship and decide if you can live with such a partner all your life. I’m referring to those that want to go into committed relationships here.
Love doesn’t deny, cover, pretend or ignore a partner’s weakness – mostly if it’s a partner that one is intending to get into a committed and lasting relationship with. it analyses the individual and try to discover what it could discover about such an individual so that it can make an informed decision. Love is deciding to accept everything about an individual and being there for him/her regardless of the situation. But you won’t know what you’re deciding to accept if you don’t have a clue of who such an individual truly is.
Profesing love to an individual without having an understanding of whom such an individual is, is one of the reasons why most relationships fail. Have you ever wondered why people do say “you don’t know if you truly love a person until you’ve known who the person actually is?” it’s because love is actually accepting everything about a person – the good, bad and ugly. And you can’t actually tell if you truly love someone until you’ve had a taste or knowledge of his/her bad and ugly sides.
Love decision based on the good side of an individual alone doesn’t last for long. It starts fading the moment the other sides of the individual starts getting revealed. This is why you have to open your eyes and see clearly who you’re committing yourself to because lasting relationships are hardly built on ignorance.
Blind love doesn’t lasts. Regret, resentment and frustration would start setting in when the other sides of the individual that we ignored initially starts getting glaring to us and our partner is resisting our fixing attempts. Accepting an individual now in hope of fixing him/her during the course of the relationship is a great risk. You have to ask yourself the “what ifs” questions before you attempt to go into a relationship through such a risky route.
Love is a decision to accept everything about the individual that the love is directed at. But the decision will not be an informed one unless the individual is known. Lasting love is a love that stems from knowledge and such a love is hardly broken. Don’t go into a relationship blindly; go into it with knowledge because such knowledge may just be what you need to help you stay strong during the turbulent times in the relationship.
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