RE: Miss. Opinionated : Technology Ruins Romance.
Great post. Much wisdom and much of the comical here. I agree technology definitely has reduced romance and, as you say, so much is based on looks. The world has perhaps become more superficial as technology speeds up decision making. The real problem is that human beings are literally programed to be attracted to symmetrical faces. This has even been mathematically proven. Basically, when we see a face that is symmetrical the brain perceives this as a message of "healthiness" and "healthiness" means that person is ripe for reproduction. It is that simple. To prove this think of how we respond when we see a face that is dramatically out of shape. Perhaps a boxer has a crooked or over sized nose or someone has dramatically crooked teeth. Without even a thought we decide that this person is ugly. Or if we are more open minded we might say that they have an "interesting face" but we would certainly not say it was a beautiful one. This is so powerful that we are slaves to it and it affects our decision making without even realizing it. I was once in a bar in London and there was a beautiful (very symmetrical face) lady sat alone having a drink. There were two guys also sat the bar and both were of similar age. One guy had symmetrical face, and thus good looking, the other guy´s face was quite distorted. His nose was really big, his mouth was crooked with crooked teeth that were also discolored and one eye was lower than the other. Just to explain why I noticed such detail, it is because I am an artist who specifically trained in portraiture. Anyway back to the story. Now, the "ugly" guy went over to the lady and said this: "Hello, please excuse the intrusion, it is just that I wondered if you would like to have some company. I saw you were alone and I was alone and I just thought it would be nice to sharing a conversation with someone. Nothing more than that. My name is Geoff by the way". Well the lady looked at him as though he was some kind of monster and actually cringed backwards and responded:"Get away from me you creep". Which personally I thought was a bit harsh. And indeed the poor guy was really embarrassed and cringed away. The the other guy (the good looking one) whispered to him and said "Pathetic, let me show you how it´s done". Then he went over to the pretty lady and said ; Hey darlin, your hot, I´m hot, so how about you and me getting together. HI I´m Joe, let me buy you a drink". This time the lady reacted with her eyes widening and her face smiling. Now from my perspective of this little encounter success and failure were simply based upon looks alone. If you are ugly then you must be a creep. It is somewhat sad but 99% of the time it is true. In the country I live in, Norway, it is changing as more and more I see beautiful women together with "ordinary" looking guys instead of "model" type guys. I ma not sure why this is happening but it is true that the majority of the population are considered as "good looking" and so perhaps when everyone is such we start to look beneath the surface for the hidden beauty I don´t know. Enjoyed your post. Upvoted!
A quick and perhaps superficial search leads me to the determination that opinion is about evenly divided as to whether "intelligence" or "power" is the ultimate aphrodisiac. I didn't see much mention of "looks" at all as a contender for the top position. And "money" would seem to be a subset of "power", so is not really in the running.
I would contend that to achieve and maintain "power" in today's world, where physical force is secondary, it is necessary to have and utilize "intelligence".
My conclusion is that "intelligence" is the ultimate aphrodisiac. And it also might prove quite useful for those whose aim may be something other than finding the ultimate aphrodisiac, at least towards the carnal.
I think you're right in that symmetrical faces tend to be more attractive, and I have read some articles over the years about how this can subjectively determine how physically attractive a person is.
With your story, it seems like a classical example of good looks prevailing over the ugly. However, I would argue that sometimes looks can determine an individuals personality which can also determine a persons attraction quotient. For instance, an ugly person may not carry self confidence, or deliver refined social skills, they may be very introverted and be timid. A good looking person may come across very confident as well as being an extrovert. Something which may at first impression, stand out a little more.
Of course, in some of my other Miss Opinionated series, I have discussed the qualities of nice guys but with boring personalities vs the 'bad' guys who give women a sense of excitement. These traits cannot be overlooked as I believe they are inextricably linked with your perception of your own attractiveness. The more attractive you are, the more you give off the air of being a 'bad' guy etc.
As for changing norms and the shift to good looking women being with regular looking men, I think the explanation that seems obvious is that women are less interested in visual attraction. Aesthetics contribute a part of the attraction, but not all. More important is perhaps the ability for the male to provide security. A man who is unable to score with women on looks alone will likely appreciate and stick with their mate as opposed to a good looking man who may be fickle and attempt to mate with many partners.
(I'm trying really hard to not introduce the idea of money but clearly this factor invariably plays a role too.)
Indeed, very good points. As you say I think security is a factor also ans of course a confident personality helps. Still it all comes across as a kind of mating "game, however we analyse it. And in every game there are always winners and losers and so far those who have symmetrical faces have a distinct advantage over those who do not.