Why Setting High Bars in Relationships Is a Good Thing
Tired of people feeling sorry for you or saying you're too picky? Ignore them and listen to yourself. It's your life, so make your own rules.
Can I choose if I want a relationship? I like being single and can list many reasons why it's great. But other people's attitudes bother me. In today's world, being single in your 20s isn't seen as strange. Yet, people still think it's temporary.
It's time to change that way of thinking. They say things like, "You're still single? Don't worry, you'll find someone." Or, "Why don't you have a boyfriend? You're so pretty!" It's not that I don't have a boyfriend because no one wants me. I don't have one because I don't need one. These people don't seem to consider that option.
"The problem is you; you're just too picky."
When I hear that, I want to scream. It doesn't matter if it's from friends or relatives who think everyone wants a soulmate. I'm not angry because I disagree. I don't think having standards is a bad thing.
Why do I even need a "other half?" I'm already whole!
I think being picky is good. I don't want a relationship just to show off. I'm not looking for a missing piece because I'm already happy on my own.
If I date someone, it'll be because they make me even happier. If not, I'd rather be alone. I'm not saying I have impossible standards. I just know what I want (or don't want). Why settle for less? Yes, I’m picky, and I’m okay with it.
That's why I don't want to hear that I'm the problem. There is no problem! Well, there is one: most people think wanting a relationship, marriage, kids, and lifelong commitment is "normal." But times have changed.
Love comes in many forms, and all deserve respect. The same goes for being single. Just because someone is single doesn't mean they're waiting for someone to appear.
Some people choose to be alone because they're fine without a partner. I think that's great. Here's why being picky and choosing to be alone is good.
You don't jump into the first relationship that comes along. You know it's better to be alone than with the wrong person. This means you're self-sufficient and don't need someone else to be happy. Isn't that the most important thing? After all, the only person guaranteed to stay with you is yourself. If you're happy alone, that's a great thing to be proud of.
Having specific things you want in a partner shows you know yourself well. You understand what you want from life and what you want to avoid. These are important for creating a lasting relationship (if you even want one). It will make you happier and allow you to be yourself.
Choosing not to open your heart to just anyone is a sign of self-care. It means you know your worth and what you deserve.