An Apology letter for my spelling, grammar, A.D.H.D. and laziness.

in #rant5 years ago

Maybe it's my own self - destructive nature rearing its ugly head again. Maybe I don't give a shit about what people think and I'm so paranoid of losing a few lines of work. I justify rushing myself and putting out absolute shit by saying that I don't want "all that I have typed to get lost and be gone forever". And then when I get done from typing whatever my fingers happen to type... I don't really WANT to re-read it. Like I just barfed it out but it was gross tasting coming up. Whatever the case, My squirrel-like attention span is already on another planet.

Perhaps I'll keep listening to Robert Greene's "The art of seduction" audiobook because man does it make perfect sense. It's like the 48 laws of power. Not something to merely read but a work one can (and should) study to speed up their progress in the mastery of life in general. if something un forseen was to happen to my OS or my computer I'm sure it's already backed up. So essentially I've been lying to myself to get off the hook and fuck off on the editing. But the point is WHO CARES? I guess working through the proper steps will mean Not publishing until It's ready which means BEGIN it in word. . Why the hell have I just been posting things as soon as I make them
vision_blurry_letters_blog.jpg
, like an impatient asshole. And then because I rush, I only screw myself because now the first few times I read my post back I'm still having to make alterations!
I need to get better at writing, (my expression in general), and of course grammar and vocabulary It's time to make a promise to myself that I'm going to stop cutting corners!
(that goes for every area of my life.)...
Yesterday (when I was sitting at Islands tacos typing this, My owner of/boss from work called me. She said my cash drawer was 27 dollars short tuesday night. My drawer has never been short in over 6 months...
I got worried for a second because I really need my job and I'm grateful to have it, But having to pay money back out of my pocket because "someone" misplaced a 20 from that cash drawer doesn't seem fair to me. Short of rolling back the videotapes for every second of every transactions and watching the moment it it was probably dropped or perhaps even POCKETED!
The only thing that hinders me from ensuring that my drawer with a perfect till each shift would be if I could count it BEFORE my shift started (like I used to at all my OTHER bar jobs) - but the answer was a NO due to my lack of seniority (and apparently - the bars lack of manager codes to the vault. So what am I reminded by all of this? TO STAY SHARP and PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY DETAIL RELATING TO MONEY. Rant over.

abc check.jpg

-who's with me?

I've been watching a lot of "people are awesome" videos when I'm down. Here's a tick tock I made about it.
https://www.tiktok.com/@iamlivingthe1dream?language=en&sec_uid=MS4wLjABAAAAVRSwFI7EwSMhboqN_PzXQEX7iu8cVscTjQmgINUh85jtJmNolleX8cW2KeYQF0MZ&u_code=db4idl66jbl2am&utm_campaign=client_share&app=musically&utm_medium=ios&user_id=6798115571117884421&tt_from=more&utm_source=more&source=h5_m

But back to being a lazy ass...

Not only am I disrespecting you, the reader (or viewer depending on format)

  • But I am disrespecting and doing a huge disservice to myself. I'm realizing in my old(er) age that it's just SO MUCH EASIER and LESS STRESSFULL to DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. = )

Bad , Bad James. You are better than that. (And now that my public scolding of myself in the 3rd person is behind us)

I promise to not just let my A.D.D. run all over my projects and rule me. I'm not sure which said it first, but in the words of a great writer,

"The mind makes a great servant, but a horrible master."
-'tis very true indeed.

I'm reading this one over 3 times before I let it fly

Because you are the coolest bunch of people in these waters.

    • for even knowing they exist and
    • for being aeons ahead of our sleeping brethren, who see nothing wrong with only taking in the mainstream, run of the mill entertainment. They can only handle run of the mill ideas and are complacent in the hierarchical machinery that keeps people trapped mentally and physically to their circumstances.

I don't see a whole lot of celebrities on Steemit so I wonder what's up with that?

The

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