Creating Elite Players: Newsletter Day 14
Why does it seem like every time I'm close to getting something I want, it gets snatched right out of my hands?
Why is it that even the significant things I've been able to accomplish don't amount to anything?
I can still recall a time in high school when I was at social dance class, against my will, being forced to jive. But something happened. As we started rotating through partners, I suddenly found a cute girl smiling across from me. She must have seen the frown on my face. But she just kept on smiling at me. I couldn't help but be charmed by her.
She disappeared from school within the month. This type of stuff hasn't happened to me just once. It's happened again, and again, and again. "Take it up the rear one more time," says big G. The cute girl who I wanted to make my girlfriend disappears at the last minute. It's didn't just happen literally. This is a metaphor for my entire damn life.
One of my coaches said to me the reason this keeps happening is because of me.
Of course, when situations seem to repeat, you've got to take a close look at yourself. It would be insanity not to. But I have no idea how to fix myself, and when I really think about it, that doesn't seem like what I need at all. What I need is a chance. A do-over. A breakthrough. Or, maybe just a pat on the back for all the trail blazing I've done.
Yet, I can't seem to do a damn thing that impresses anyone. This blog post? It will probably be viewed by three people and quickly forgotten. No shares. No comments. Nothing. The audience I've built up? They will quickly disappear when I have something of value to sell.
I don't get to keep anything I win. Even the fact that I'm an award-winning composer, best-selling author, digital nomad, and podcaster of over a decade is of no consequence, no interest to anyone. It's like I'm being told, "not good enough" by a stern parent, and to add insult injury, they're also yelling, "anyone could do that shit!"
I kept getting robbed. Even when success and fame and fortune are handed to me on a silver platter, someone is there to prick the balloon and turn the dagger in my back.
What's the point of any of this? Why am I writing this down? I have no intention of spreading negative. There's enough of it already. At the same time, I need to give expression to these thoughts. They will probably just keep repeating if I don't.
So, think of this as therapy. There's no need for sympathy. I'm just working things out.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Drop a comment so I can follow you and connect with you personally.
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