Review of San Quentin State Prison

3/5 Stars

Every year, I find myself haunted by the frivolous spending that occurred in the last eleven months (paired with invoices and angry letters from Big Brother). To prevent another extension of my stay at San Quentin, I must surrender to an annual celebration of Lent, which I refer to as "Tax Season".

Tax Season for me is fasting high-caliber indulgences -- and because I only resolve to the best, this essentially means refraining from eating and drinking (most things). During this period, I may sit in bars and watch others drink, or stand outside restaurants and watch others eat. Nonetheless, the most crucial consequence is spending more time at the home base.

San Quentin isn't as bad as it's made out to be. Whilst it may help to have a long line of unmixed lineage, it is wise to stay where you belong (amongst others with whom you share matching skin tones). Prison is about survival, and the odds won't be in your favor if you try it alone -- but overall, SQ is rather mellow.

The primary misstep that others make is in comparing San Quentin to a federal prison, such as Lompoc; apples to oranges, my friends! Compared to Gldani or Alcatraz, SQ is a pretty okay place to be. There are several activities to choose from throughout the day to maximize productivity (ie. yoga, wood shop, engineering, anger management, group therapy, etc.) with abundant sunshine, as opposed to other prisons, which may hold you in solitary confinement for up to 24 hours a day with only a thumb hole view of the clouds. Outdoor yard access is available until 8:30pm, to which inmates can play basketball, tennis, baseball, get haircuts, watch card tricks, or socialize at the tables.

It's not heaven (it still is a prison, after all), but the facilities are well-maintained. Both lieutenants/volunteers work amicably with inmates to improve conditions and streamline their progression to society, compressing the hostility typically faced in similar habitations.

Plus, the guys have a great sense of humor.

MINUS ONE STAR BECAUSE CIGARETTES ARE NOT ALLOWED AND RUN $3-$10 EACH VIA UNDERGROUND MARKETS.