Why Your Child Should Be a High School Drop Out
"I cheated on fear; broke up with doubt; engaged with faith; married my dreams; and I'm holding hands with destiny."
Eddie A. Rios
I'm a mother of an only child. She's 20. She graduated from a law school when she was 18 years old. She passed the California Bar Exam at the age of 19. She skipped middle school and high school. She's poised, socially intelligent, and mentally aware. Was she on the fast track so that she can start working early? That's a resounding "no."
We often follow the crowd without question. We place our children into a broken school system because that's what everyone's doing. But middle school and high school are complete waste of time. You learn nothing useful. Even if you have a bright child, she'll soon become "averaged out." There are also other threats in middle school and high school. The students are exposed to numerous inappropriate and permanently damaging influences. Kids get bullied. People peddle drugs in middle schools and high schools. I do admit that middle school and high school can offer social currency, but that should also be under scrutiny. And besides, we don't go to school solely for the purpose of making friends. We go to school to prepare us for life. We, as parents, are obligated to provide a calculated path for our children's success.
I received violent opposition from family members for choosing the fast track path for my daughter. I learned recently that adults taunted my daughter when she was 12 for being in college at that age. People can be malicious. They bemoaned about the prom experience that she would miss out on. They reprimanded me for being too controlling. I'm sure that they imagined that I was a "tiger mom," but I wasn't.
I never once told her to do her homework. I didn't have to. Any parent can pull rank and tell a child what to do. But that's not the way I wanted to raise my daughter. I wanted her to want to do what she's supposed to do. I also wanted her to learn decision making skills. Autonomy is important to children. Simply barking orders is lazy parenting. It also mentally sets up a child to be a follower.
Almost all parents say that they want a better life for their children, but it takes more than just words. It takes strategic maneuvers- a lot of them.
We have house rules. I intended to mentally anchor our home as a place of peace. There's no bickering or arguing at home. I don't know what difficulties she faces outside, so it's important that our home is a sanctuary. If I felt the urge to critique her, I would never say it impulsively. I would mull over it, sometimes for months, and oftentimes, I come to conclude that I don't really need to say it.
If I ask her to do something, I don't repeat it. For example, if I tell her to pick up her socks, and she doesn't, I never mention it again. Why? Because it is my intent to remove any grounds for conflict. You have to choose your battles, and you have to choose them wisely. My moments with my child is brief, and I'm not going to use even one second over something trite. We used to live by the beach. She used to bring in so much sand. She sheepishly apologized for bringing in sand as she watched me sweep. I told her that there will be a day that I would beg God to see you to bring sand into the house, and that God would not hear me.
Above all, use love as a guide. I don't mean just telling your child you love her. I mean loving her through actions. For example, I never picked her up late from school. I was always early. I buy flowers for her nightstand, and in the fall, I purchase mini pumpkin flowers. When she speaks, I listen. When she mentions she needs something, I would never fail to address it as soon as I can.