Psychology for Dummies #5: Addictions and Bad Habits

In my first article I have written about Psychology for Dummies #1: Overcoming fears but "overcoming a fear with one of my patients" might be just the beginning of my work day.

I see patients with a lot of different habits they intend to change. Some of them want to get rid of bad habits or even addictions. With addictions, I am not only talking about drugs because today the variety of "addictions" is getting much larger.

People could refer to being addicted to food, shopping, sport, gaming, stealing, burning things or even to sex.

It is very important to mention that they themselves believe their issue as being a huge problem in their life...it's having such an impact on them that they feel the need to change. More or less it's them giving themselves a diagnosis...very often my job is just to confirm it or see if it's a medical diagnosis and see if it fits the medical criteria of an "addiction". They already know there's something wrong.

The need to change could arise out of a physical, emotional and financial exhaustion or simply out of loneliness.

Most of them tried to change for a long time before they come and see me. But they noticed that they can't change their behaviour on their own. They decide to get someone's help.

That's my time of getting part of the team!

It's very hard work to fight against a bad habit or an addiction! I am always taking my hat of for someone who is in the process or who was able to manage to quit an addiction.
Everybody of us has bad habits...imagine yourself of trying to change a bad habit, maybe you already did...?!

I don't know how often I tried to get away from sugar but until now I just couldn't make it. This might happen to be the case because I am not THAT motivated for a longer time period😅.

The person might already know why it is so hard for him or her to change that behaviour. Sometimes they don't.
It's important to notice that there is always a physical and an emotional component the person is confronted with.

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The medical criteria of diagnosing addiction (ICD-10)

If you are interested, these are the criteria psychiatrists, psychologists and psychotherapists refer to when they have to diagnose an addiction. The behavioural addictions as shopping, gaming and others, as mentioned before, might be categorised in a different chapter but have similar criteria. ICD-10: International Statistical Classification Of Diseases And Related Health Problems

At least 3 criteria need to be fulfilled.

1. A strong desire or compulsion to use the substance/drug or to show the behaviour.
   Ex.: A strong desire to go shopping online.

2. Reduced or lost control about the beginning, ending or amount of the substance/drug/behaviour being used and shown.
   Ex.: Shopping for 6 hrs. online, order 8 packages.

3. Physical craving for the substance/drug or physical arousal and compulsion to show the behaviour.
   Ex.: Can't wait to get to the computer, nervous breakdowns when something doesn't work.

4. The proof of a physical adaptation like building up a tolerance. The behaviour gets more and more exzessive.
   Ex.: Extending hours of online ordering, larger and larger packages.

5. Progressing neglicence of other interests, friends and work.
   Ex.: Neglicence of children and Friends. Not preparing food, eating out of the pizza box, not cleaning up anymore.

6. Use of the substance although there are definite signs of dangerous, negative and harmful outcomes already.
   Ex.: Although the person is already in debt he/she can't stop shopping and ordering online. Financially ruining the family.

Notice that all the information about these criteria should be relying on the information of the patient. There should be no room left for interpretations. If the person is unsure about a criteria, both the psychotherapist and the patient have to figure it out together. Giving someone a diagnosis should be about labelling something the patient does already know about.

For my patients it's not a new information when I am talking to them about their problem saying "you are suffering from a depression", because they might have already thought about it themselves.

When a person is suffering of a mental illness, most of the persons consider something is seriously wrong.

The person just needs someone helping him or her with the problem, therefore we need to name it or label it (and of course for the insurance company paying the treatment 😉).

After that we start as usual, we try to fully understand what's happening, what's causing the addiction and what's keeping it alive!

Invest time in the start-up!

As a cognitive behavioural psychotherapist I prefer to analyse the present moment. Of course I am interested in the past as well and I want to know how the bad habit or addiction developed to explain it fully. But after a few sessions I tend to stay in the present moment. We need to know everything about the issue happening right now! Like everything!

• We need to know the exact and maybe different signs of the body "wanting" to show the habit.
• Additionally, we need to know about the emotions and thoughts coming along before, while and after showing the habit.
• We need to know the benefits and the costs of the habit shortterm and longterm!
• We need to get prepared for the future without the habit. How should life look like after quitting that behaviour?!
• We need to think about goals motivating the person in the process!
• We need to think of rescue anchors while the person is "keeping away from this two-sided relationship with a behaviour".
• We need the person to understand that failures happen, that they are challenges we can learn from and get back on the track! They need to understand that failures and challenges make us stronger!

Be aware that on the one hand it's always a reliable, beneficial and good feeling habit for the person and on the other hand it's harmful, dangerous maybe even poisonous. The person always knows both sides! You always have to keep that in my mind.

The person resigning of a bad or harmful habit will always feel like "loosing or missing something"!

All this information we need to capture, to get prepared to interact with these things coming along in the process. As you see, it's a lot of preparing, training and motivation necessary until we really start to change 😊.

The person needs to invest in the start-up because that's the way you are going to be most successful in the process.

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How to cope with "loosing something"

Consider yourself to be an athlete, a marathon runner, a really good runner, but because of a disease you can't run anymore, it's impossible for you to run marathons in the future.

And the doctor is saying..."But you could swim."(Oh no, really...?!)

So you learn how to swim. In the beginning you hate it because it's not the same, you are not good at it, it costs a lot of effort, you get nothing out of it, it's just horrible! You think about quitting or go running again (unless you know it's harmful to you).

Or you are comparing yourself swimming and running, you feel like a looser, you hate yourself, you hate swimming, again you think about quitting BUT (here comes the motivation!) you want to see your little baby girl laughing in the future, you want to be there for her when she falls and you want her to feel (financially) secure!

That's the moment where you keep on swimming and remember that ALL YOUR CHARACTERISTICS DONT CHANGE IN THE PROCESS OF ADDICTIONS OR BAD HABITS!
Having that in mind, you will put some effort in getting better in swimming! Because you know you are an ambitious person and you know you can be great when you are training hard!

Just think about it...all your characteristics stay the same even while addicted! After quitting the bad habit or harmful behaviour you can rely on them, still being there, ready to take new challenges. So you will still be an ambitious person after quitting and because of that you will get better at swimming, every time you swim!

That's the process we need to get prepared for in the treatment. It's a kind of being ahead of the body, understanding how the body and mind is going to act like in the process of quitting and building up enough resources to manage the challenges. There will be difficult situations, the person needs to get to know them, get prepared for them and then she/he will manage them!

I hope you got a little bit inspired. Share your feelings about this post, write a comment or have a look at the other **Psychology for Dummies posts" as well 😊.

Psychology for Dummies #1: Overcoming fears

Psychology for Dummies #2: Logic of fear

Psychology for Dummies #3: Emotional fears are camouflaged thoughts

Psychology for Dummies #4: Feeling not good enough

**Coming next...preview 😊

Psychology for Dummies #6: Rescue things to do when craving

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