I'm Gonna Candidly Blog About My Broken Heart...

Hola to Jonny Bitcoin for introducting me to this platform. Very cool.

I'm a hot mess at the moment.

So, I'm gonna blog about my recent break-up and broken heart...candidly.

If I'm gonna feel like shit, I might as well try and earn some Steem credit from it. Who knows, maybe there will be some catharsis in venting here...

...then I can "man-up" and "get the fuck over it", like everyone keeps telling me.

Everyone turns into that drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket, when you're heart broken.

Check out Corey Wayne, life coach (and alpha-male) on Youtube.

His tough love approach is confronting.

After spending my 20's dating women I wasn't that wrapped in, I managed to land a girl I was really into.

Evidently, I was ill-equiped for this.

Alpha males treat all women the same, no matter what. (N.B. you want to be an alpha make, or it's trouble).

So, being 'head over heels' was my first problem.

You must never, ever, put a woman on a pedestal. This communicates lower value. She will dump you.

Of course, I am learning this too late.

I grew up a fat nerd at an all boys school. Evidently there are myriad of ways this has fucked me up psychologically. All are becoming evident only now, as result of this break-up.

I have since had a lot of success in looks and life. I thought that would make the difference. It doesn't really.

The core problems were never addressed.

Because of this emotional baggage from my youth I became afraid of losing her. This caused me to act out of fear. I conveyed neediness and low value. I was dumped.

Having this realisation dawn on me is probably the most bitter medicine I have ever swallowed.

I did not need to act this way. A twisted, self-fulfilling prophecy...set into motion by my own self-sabotage. :(

Also difficult to come to terms with: there are no 2nd chances in this game.

In code you find an error, you fix it, you continue with the project. Never has a project (with all its investment and sunk costs) been abandoned on the back of one error, correctly identified, early.

But, here, it just doesn't work that way.

End Woody Allen Allen style neurotic rant.