Fragmented Psyche

There seems to be no non-cliche way of writing an introductory post, so it seems as though diving straight in to it may be the way to go.

I am so many things. Mother, wife, friend, artist...and I have a mental illness. I have been professionally diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder for about a year now. However, I am far from new to the mental health community. I began serious therapy when I was 16 and now, at 31, have been in and out of nearly every form of intensive treatment available to me. Whether the stars aligned or the universe said it was time, my system made themselves known late last year.

I spent a lot of time in isolation after my diagnosis. I didn't know how to talk about it or who to even talk to about it. I have my girlfriend and my therapist, B. Recently, a former therapist, C, has joined in the treatment mix. A lot of the reason I chose to remain in isolation was because I felt ashamed. I'm not entirely certain why I felt ashamed, other than I felt that this diagnosis made me "crazy". I also chose to remain in isolation because of safety issues regarding a previous relationship.

As one can imagine, though, deliberately isolating myself because painfully lonely. I have a wonderful support system, yet still not having at least one person who shares this diagnosis to talk to made me feel incredibly alone. After some time, I finally decided to reach out online to some of the DID communities I knew of so that I could feel less lonely. I've met some wonderful people. I've met others who are practically pelting people with red flags for attention. And...unfortunately, I've met some who do genuinely seem to have DID but are grossly undereducated and spreading false information about this illness.

While I took to the internet in an effort to bond with others who share similarities with me, I found that I was once again reignited with a drive to educate. Not just educate, but share research material. With films such as "Split", it really felt as though most people have a massive misunderstanding as to what this illness is, how it works, and where it stems from. While I still take to the internet for friendship, I have found that talking openly (at least somewhat) about my illness and the things I learn along the way not only help others but really helps my recovery along the way.

Even though I have been diagnosed for a year and working full time on recovery, I still have many, many years ahead of me.

I hope that, by following my journey, you will form a whole new perspective and/or appreciation for recovery and Dissociative Identity Disorder.