RE: Psychology Addict # 28 | Mindfulness - Acceptance, Awareness & Being Present
It is really nice to read clever post about mindfulness. It is very important in our life and it is always about balance! I do not like the bad PR that mindfulness has today- it is because of people who made product from it. They all miss the main point in the whole idea, I think. Returning to the present moment is for me the clue for human being. We usually forget about it. Thanks for posting this. It gives me hope that people will undestand someday how important topic it is!
I also agree with your statement about acceptace. Only acceptance can lead us to Change. We really need to know what we need to change. I do not like pushing People to change something. Sometimes healthy acceptance solves the problem.
From my perspective acceptance is the begining of the journey in diffrent cases. Recently, I wrote about Gender dysphoria and I see that acceptance of the state of affairs is the beginning for hormonal therapy and psychotherapy. Living in denial makes patient suffer, sometimes without knowing the reason for his suffering. Acceptance (very painful) brings a new beginning and allows to move in a new direction - it is important not only in mindfulness.
Nowadays, people try to convince themselves that they can do anything. For those less conscious, believing in this brings an unbounded amount of suffering. Accepting that you can not do everything, lets see how much you can. "everything" This is a vague, meaningless concept in this case.
I firstly encountered zen meditation then I learn about mindfulness which originates from it. There is also some critique of mindfulness from Buddhists community. Mainly that it's used often to "become happy" or "become a better worker" and that it's deprived of and, actually, sometimes used in a completely contradiction of the original source with it's ethics and morality. If someone uses mindfulness to be a mindful jerk or a mindful tyrannical boss - I don't want meditation to serve such goals. Another thing is that for example beeing present may be used as an escape of thinking about your problems "ok, I'll just focus on my breath/washing dishes/etc".
I personally don't know what to think about this. I think mindfulness could be great, but it should be thought pretty careful and by very well trained people. I also think that it should not be sold as "happiness pill" or anything like that. Even Buddhists say that meditation is not really for everyone and sometimes it can even cause mental problems (e.g. for schizophrenics). You can discover pretty nasty things about youself, life or world while meditating. If you meditate for 20 minutes a day and then you come back to work, wandering about useless stuff it's not enough. This business thing is also quite sleazy and seems to suffer many pathologies. "Evidence is also emerging of underqualified teachers presenting themselves as mindfulness experts", some of them may have even more life problems than the participants, but hey, they finished five-months paid course so they are "entitled" to teach mindfulness. I think that's a very bad way to spread meditation. In buddhist societies, you have to have a really balanced life & healthy, settled mind to become a teacher and it takes years to become one. It's also free in most zen societies to learn meditation and take part in meditating sessions (most of participants pay small donation, but they are usually volountary).
Despite doubts, I think it's still good that zen meditation somehow transplanted to western culture. You may even say that mindfulness is some kind of "novajana" since, buddhism transplanted to different cultures always merged with them, so that now it merged with western, rational and secular way of thinking.
Two comments. I was saying this earlier this week about Steve Jobs. Says he gained a lot from mindfulness but he used it for his own selfish purposes and was known to be an asshole. The second comment is that in terms of spreading the knowledge of these practices this is why I go to places that practice dhana which means "generosity" or "donation-based." I do not feel comfortable with all the boutique places that are springing up everywhere they are very exclusive. And don't even get me started on yoga :)
If I recall correctly, Mr. Jobs, upon his deathbed, lamented the fact that he had misused his talents and knowledge, and had missed the mark entirely. He regretted he had neglected the most important of all things: to love more fully.
Did you read this in a book or was it in the movie, or any other source you could point me to I would like to read/watch whatever. I didn't see the movie.
I caught it online one day, probably about a year ago. I'll see if I can find it. If so I'll bring it to your attention.
Well, apparently he didn't say those things. I just found it in snoops. Link attached. Bummer.https://www.snopes.com/steve-jobs-deathbed-speech/
Thank you for looking. In any case, got me curious to see the film now :)
You good coment
Thank you so much for this comment @smashedturtle :)
I was particularly drawn to the part you say people convince themselves they can do anything. I would love to hear more about what you have to say on this particular subject. Do you mean this is something stops people from accepting who they are?
I believe that there is a fine line on this sort of approach; and finding that balance between understanding our own limitations and accepting them without feeling down about them is definitely where the challenge is.
I really appreciate you taking the time to share your reflection with us. I will definitely check your post on gender dysphoria.
All the best!
What I mean is that people tell themselves that they can do anything because of ta i things.
That is why we have people in social media who post a lot of food, gym, free time. Sometimes The content shouts: look I do everything and everything is sooo special when I am doing this.
I think we ( humans ) should learn more about ourselves and accept it. Limitations give us shape! And it is very beautiful.
Thanks. I try to write about sexology more often. New post is coming. I find it necessary to talk about this. It helps to open mind in very diffrent ways
Oh! What a beautiful insight @smashedturtle :)
Thank you for taking the time to draw our attention to this. There is so much true in what you just said :)
I am following you.
Best.
This sounds exactly like what Thich Nhat Hanh says about investigating our pain so we can apply the correct remedy.
wow.. great article, thankyou