The memory is actually quite a feeble thing, a group of witnesses to crime are quickly split up by police because of how different their individual accounts of what happened can be,
and discussed as a group they influence each others 'memory' of what happened, one witness sees a green tiger but another thought it was a blue dog and then recalls it must have been a green tiger. I have had arguments over silly things where my own recollection of events were a complete different story, you mentioned people taking things as a personal attack, or an attack on their beliefs, I like this quote by Rumi "beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field, I will meet you there"