Why....?
Why do I do what I do?
Why do I continue to try and push myself so I am always working. At one point I owned or was a managing partner in 5 different companies at once.
I still am in 3. Some days it is too much.
Weekends and evenings just mean that I am working from a computer at my home instead of my office.
Ego?....I have a healthy view of myself.
Money?....always a necessity but it is not the be all end all.
I convince myself it is for the sake of creating itself. I do love to see something I started benefit everyone involved.
Having a bad week has me reflecting a bit deeper than usual. 2 missed contracts and other progress crawling for the last month has dragged me down.
I believe that I am motivated a lot by the fear of loss. Not proud of that. I see an opportunity and imagine not taking advantage of it. If I was content with what I already had I could have a very comfortable and slow paced life. I just can't do it.
I have to learn to live the old cliché... Love what you have, not fear what you might not get.
Maybe someday. Until then my rollercoaster continues.
This was tough to write. Thanks.
I'm very interested in your line of reasoning and motivations.
My mom was a product of the Great Depression, so she was always worried about money, always pinching pennies, and constately motivated by fear of loss.
I've tried to rise above that somewhat, inspired by her example:
a) Enjoy money and enjoy my youth; expect I could save later in life to retire, etc.
b) Travel and explore other cultures and lifestyles. Do it while I'm young.
c) Work hard on things that interest me; self-taught technologist and professional programmer.
Later, I realize I reach the end of my main career. But I have always depended on corps to give me a job..
Working for others, leads to it's own problems(!)
But I always assumed starting my own business, would be even more work. And I always worried I would not "own it, it would own me" kind of thing..
On the other hand, my brother has always been self employed; mom and pop style. No employees, but no boss either. I always respected that, but he lives on the edge, off the grid, no health insurance, scraps by his whole life. Never scaled the biz.
Long story short; it's a gamble any way you go, but lately, i'm ready to be self employed, and I'm ready to be my own boss, and I need to find my motivations inside of me; new ones, based on lack of fear, based on my own passions, and most of all, based on having some fun with the rest of my career.
I think my fear of loss comes from something similar. Growing up we were not well off financially. Don't get me wrong, I had a wonderful childhood that afforded me many opportunities to enjoy life. No regrets at all.
Not having the ability to buy what I wanted, go where we wanted, and see the stress of money throughout my family it has to be a driver for me. Finally realizing it.
Work has allowed me to travel, buy material things, and create a comfortable life. I could have done that working for someone but the other driving force in my upbringing compelled me to do more. As a kid I was blessed with great school smarts. It was a small town so everyone knew it as I won the school awards, etc. I was always told that I could do whatever I wanted, that I was going to be a businessman and that the sky was the limit.
I realize that it is...as long as you work hard.
I get excited for people as they decide whether or not to go into business for yourself. You will get to know yourself in a different way.
Are you ready to work like a bandit so that one day you won't have to?
Do you want to build something that takes care of you someday or do you want something to take care of?
Are you ready to risk what you have to possibly achieve it?
There are no wrong answers, just your answers. It is not right or wrong no matter what you choose.
I remember deciding what my answers were. Unfortunately I didn't know the extent of the impact of my answers. Now I am working to figure a few answers out.
Several people have come to me when making the same decision for themselves. Sometimes they jumped at an opportunity, other times they decided not right for them. Always an exciting process though and I hope that you find it as worthwhile.
One of the most impactful things that I heard from someone not related to me was a quote that has me pushing and working more than I had initially planned.
In the words of Jim Rohn..."If you could do better...should you?"
Long enough reply. I think I am going to write some thoughts around that quote..my next blog maybe.
You have so much to say on this subject. I hope you will write a series of articles on becoming your own boss.
I'm starting to think there is no way I can work for anyone but myself; and with that acknowledgement, I force to the front, all kinds of decisions I was not ready to make, if I was still going to work for someone else.
It's going to be quite a year, but I hope to have most of it sorted in the next few months..
thanks!
We should get some Dudeism going around here...
Respect.
Agreed! The Dude abides.
Good post, thanks for opening up about that. I think a lot of people are in your shoes where they are very ambitious and have a drive to succeed so push themselves as much as they can to achieve what they are going after.
At the end of the day, you just need to do what's right for you. Maybe the pace that you're working at now won't suit you 10-20 years from now (or earlier), or maybe it always will.
There's a saying in the real estate development world (I'm not a real estate developer but I deal with them quite a lot in my job) that 'it doesn't matter how many deals you let go, just as long as you don't accept a bad deal'.
None of us can do everything and if we choose to do something, that automatically means there are other opportunities that we need to let let slip away.
Just food for thought I guess.
Good luck!
Thanks jen8. I'm glad I wrote it and your advice is bang on. I am fighting to determine what is right for me now. I am starting to learn that maybe this pace won't always be for me. Yet I have defined myself for the last 16 years this way so it is a challenge....but soooo worth it.
I have to learn to do the same. I work six days a week and sometimes on top of it i do night shift
It's crazy making sometime. Thanks for sharing. I hope that you find your happy place too. Maybe my happy place is working like this because I go stir crazy when I am not. When the roller coaster is at the top of a run it feels pretty good though...maybe I am an endorphin junkie. Guess I'll find out someday. :)
suych an interesting read and one I can relate to I was the same, but I think as I am getting older and closer to retirement and in an OK ish position I think I am slowly changing
came across you on the Steemit friend train
@tattoodjay I am glad to hear that you are working it out and coming to a good place with it. Can't wait until I get to that point. Maybe things are starting to go that way which is why I am questioning things a bit now. I look forward to figuring me out. Cheers #friendtrain