Here are 10 simple steps to guarantee your depression lasts forever. Sometimes it is hard to be depressed, but there are many things you can do to make sure you stay that way:

1. Drink alcohol

Alcohol is the world's most dangerous drug. More dangerous than heroin or cocaine. You would be better off shooting up heroin (if it was pure) than drinking government-sanctioned depressants like beer, wine or spirits.

If you need to push away feelings and memories into an unresolved limbo that haunts your every waking-moment, alcoholic beverages are the perfect choice. It's also socially acceptable: Others around you are self-medicating with it too. Hang out with them; they won't question anything either.

2. Avoid psychedelics

Psychedelics are consciousness expansion technologies. They allow us to amplify our patterns of thought and (in a safe setting) resolve old trauma. If you want to stay depressed, you should follow the advice of your government: Don't explore your own nervous system. If you use psychedelics, you risk discovering what you are 'depressing' (pushing down).

3. Agree not to remember your childhood.

The majority of depression is caused by childhood abuse. If you want to stay depressed, you must NOT remember your childhood. Instead, you must remember a fictional version of it. To help with this process, ask your family what you were like as a kid, they will likely repeat a fiction. It may also help to refer to a family photo album: This will present you with a stage-managed version of what happened. Most childhood photos will have been taken to depict a happy, functional family. Gazing at these nostalgic fictions will help to re-enforce your depression (pushing down of memories) and hide the truth.

4. Ignore your inner-child

Ask your 'caregivers' if you were subjected to violence as a child. You will be told, "we smacked you just once when you tried to run into the road," or a variation on this. Accept this as the truth. Do not question this version of events. Also: ignore the statistical probability that you were sexually abused as a child. Although this happens to as high as 1 in 3 children; tell yourself that it definitely didn't happen to you, because you would remember.

If difficult feelings arise, refer to step 1 - Drink heavily to depress the emerging feelings.

5. Eat Meat

Participation in the global animal holocaust is an important way to sustain your depression. It is important not to see it as a holocaust though: You must view meat eating as a natural and necessary part of the human experience. Although part of you (your inner child) will be acutely aware that the way our society treats animals is an allegory for how we treat each other, you must push this realization away if you are to maintain your depression. If you realize how society treats animals, you may start remembering how society treats children, then your depression is in trouble. Your depression relies on you not connecting or relating to the needs of other conscious beings: Including yourself.

Talking to other members of your dysfunctional society will help reassure you that eating animals is ok. Most of them will agree with you. They are depressed too and can help you stay depressed by repeating specific mantras and belief systems installed by 'culture' pre-verbally. Do not visit any meat-preparation facilities.

6. Have a 'career'.

Almost every job that pays well in your society is a means of exploitation. The more you exploit people in our society, the more bits of money-paper you get to spend on stuff that has exploited others in its manufacture. Participate in this cycle as deeply as you can by finding 'success' in your career. Ignore the absence of satisfaction or well-being you feel in your 'job'. Tell yourself that if you 'achieve' enough you will be 'valued'.

7. Have children and unconsciously repeat everything

If you want to stay depressed, you should marry someone who is the unconscious replica of your mother/father and then act out the childhood you don't remember on your own children. Remember: to repeat the cycle, you must convince yourself that everything you do to your children is natural and 'instinctive'. Do not explore the possibility that you were programmed in your own childhood and are now unconsciously programming another human with the same code.

Repeat the societal mantras that children need discipline and eduction. Do not allow yourself to realize that children need love and freedom from 'education'.

8. Under-exercise or over-exercise.

To maintain your depression you should either avoid all physical activity, or subject yourself to exercise as a form of torture. Like anything, exercise can be used as a coping-mechanism to repress memories. If you feel anything difficult arising, either sit inertly in a room and watch YouTube videos, or go for a ten mile run and collapse. Do not do moderate exercise like yoga or go for a gentle swim: Your depressive state relies on you not being kind or respectful to your body. You must, instead, repeat the physical abuse you were subjected to as a child, but keep the memories of this depressed.

9. Visit a psychologist

Most psychologists have certificates which allow them to practice psychology. These are issued by the authorities who rely on your depression persisting, so that you do not overthrow them. If you remembered the causes of your depression then you would remember that hierarchy and power is the essential fuel of abuse in our society: You would want to depose the government.

So, if a psychologist started actually curing anyone, then they would be stripped of their title and cast out of the profession. Most psychologists are therefore guardians that prevent you remembering any more than society accepts. If you feel memories or feelings returning, go to a psychologist who can help you to depress them again. You must not remember or you risk lifting your depression and this will threaten your 'society'.

10. Blame yourself for how you feel

It is important that you do not see your depression as a natural reaction to existing in a sick society. Instead, you must view your depression as something that is a problem with YOU. You should constantly individualize your experience and seek ways to 'fix' yourself or 'get better'. Do not consider the possibility that society needs to fix itself collectively.

You must deny society's sickness and focus, instead, on how you can continue to participate in it. Ignore everything your body is telling you about the post-capitalist hellscape you live in. Tell yourself: I must get over this.