Hi @abigail,

I found it important that you mentioned "Sometimes it is better just to let people be for a while."

When someone shows signs of a mild depression I would consider it normal for there are always events and episodes of disinterest, not engaging in family and friends life and to do what one may call to think about "the meaning of life". Thank you for pointing this out - at least I understood it that way.

From what I experience - I work a lot with young adults who partake a program in "Assisted living" they get no real time out. The program is there to stabilize and to give structure. To help with school issues, accompany the steps of leading an independent life and financial matters. What I see as problematic is that from what trauma or difficulties the young adults have gone trough they are then put into this program which sets the pace of development.

This is not wrong because it substitutes the parents home and what had to take place there, it takes place now in the institution.

BUT: nobody actually assures the young people that what they feel and gone through is not so much an illness or flaw. Some of them are in the program for about ten years and still under medication. Many are super trained in psychotherapy-speech. When a young adult sits in front of me, tells me that he is medicated for years and that he has "social phobia" and what else, I get frustrated sometimes. My systemic approach to coach them seems to be unknown to many therapists and neurologists.

I would say, the kids which I encounter are for the most part super clever. They know a lot about their weaknesses, can talk like psychologists with you and do have various remarkable skills. What they lack in my opinion is to realize, HOW smart they are, how young and full of energy.

What I want to say about medication: people don't like to take them. They take anti-depressants on and off. They interrupt the treatment or the therapy. The daily life doesn't follow a therapy plan (which is what science relies on) or a laboratory condition.

They take the medicine once it gets really acute. And when the acute state of existence calms down, the pills remain untouched.

So, why are they doing that? Wouldn't it help to follow the therapy plan?
It would, I think. But that is not what people want. Once under medication, integrated in a structure and daily tasks, fulfilling what is expected from them, they go back exactly to the point from where they missed something in the past: That someone cares. If a person gets the impression "If I only take the medicine, do my duty, engage in life, than what I need the most is not addressed!"

My conclusion from that is: What is most wanted is the perception that my sadness and my deep struggle with life is fully and 100% accepted from "society" - meaning: the people I am in touch with. If only I could sense and see that they really do care, than they would let me take my own pace. They would signal patience instead of worry.

The deeper meaning of "caring" is for people in a depression a living breathing being they can relate to and who shows patience and: is NOT AFRAID of the person with a depression.

Sorry for answering in this length, but you touched a point in me.