RE: Psychology Addict # 56 | Reflections on Anger.
I read this blog from you with great joy and interest! I am quite of the notion that anger is not an emotion to be suppressed or sent away. The feeling of anger cannot be avoided, it just comes over you. I think it's human and therefore you can notice the anger in a situation and learn to deal with it accordingly.
Regarding Freud, I would assume the first part to be true, that depression can also mean the suppression of anger (among other things), but not the second part to let it loose on others. I also believe that this has laid a very big misunderstanding over the 20th century and continues to this day.
From a Buddhist point of view, one cannot fight anger, but only use it in the moment of its inevitable emergence for learning from self-awareness. When anger arises, it is a great opportunity to practice letting go!
So you could shout inwardly "Hurray!" as soon as the anger comes and you say: "An extremely good opportunity to practice letting go! Life gives you the opportunity to exercise again and again. Because if it didn't, how could we even learn to practice with negative thoughts and feelings?
(Just imagine, you every time are "hurraying" when you feel anger. Would be curious how this would change one over time ... I guess this is what the Buddhists mean when they talk about enlightenment. People take their own sufferings lightly.)
If you compare it with the fact that you need a practice area if you want to learn to play football, you need a goal that you can aim at. Every miss is a learning experience. Without the pitch and without the goal and the keeper there is no opportunity to practice. My mind offers this place every day.
But, guess what? Other people have free will and often act in ways that aren't to our liking. Just as we don't always behave in a manner that constantly pleases others.
That I find a very important message. Especially because we know that we ourselves have not always been friendly and generous in our lives and probably won't always be, it would be good that our missteps would be taken with care by our fellow men. It is logical to allow others to do the same.
Hello Erika :D How have you been?
Thank you for taking the time to bring further clarity to this discussion! I truly appreciate it.
Do you think I should have worded like this, instead?
Big hug from Portugal :*
Yes, thank you! That's what I meant.
I come from that notion if anger is already being felt, than you cannot avoid it to rise to the surface. It's already there. If anger would be a full number of 10 and you see (feel) it coming, than the thing you can do is not letting it become a 10. You start to practice to leave it at a 6,5,4,3,2 ... in this process it'll be transformed.
There is no person in the world who can avoid experiencing anger, only rare people who skillfully can make it into a play for their advantage (or better: well being). Even the Buddhists or high educated monks tell that they as well feel the emotions all others do. But deal differently with them. Maybe Buddha or Jesus were special and some other role models we can think of through history and narratives.
A practitioner with long term practice may let go of the anger to zero (transform it). A not so skilled practitioner maybe manages it to stay around a 3.
Most of us are probably beginners, I include myself :) I guess, my number changes depending on with whom I get in touch.
If Mary after your encounter would have the experience that you were of assistance to her, this might be a very high state of dealing with anger. If she does not feel that way, I'd say that it doesn't harm and maybe sub-consciously she might change if she makes continuous positive experiences with her customers over time. It sounds mean somehow but we can thank the Mary's as they serve excellent opportunities for practice. LOL :-D
I am fine, thank you. Just experienced anger with my son. HaHa! Daily arguments about daily stuff.
How about you?
Hug you back!! <3
Erika
Edited! :D
I am also fine. Thank you :*
Oh! There you go we can thank the Marys, the sons, the relatives ... :)