How do you know when a person is manipulating you?

they use guilt to get you to do things for them.
they over flatter you in a way that does not seem sincere.
when you confront them with something they did wrong, they tell you something you did wrong in the past, and they take the focus off of what they did, and onto what you did.
they use your words against you. they twist everything you say, to their benefit. and you find yourself defending yourself, while they are off the hook.
they are cold, or distant and they take away things, when you do not do what they want you to do.
they do or say horrible things, and then they say its a joke, or you are too sensitive, or that is not what they meant.