RE: Puke and Ponytails: A Story of Self-Loathing and Triumph
Ugh, so sorry, @ssimkins9, and far too often I'm right there with you.
Like a few days ago, when I discovered that a little stray cat I had been feeding and trying to befriend had, indeed, crawled up under our barn and died.
And now, every time I take the goats out for the day, or put them back in their stall for the night, I am faced with the smell of my own failure. Ugh again.
But, whereas in years past I would have taken the opportunity to castigate myself and beat myself up emotionally, now when I catch myself in a negative thought spiral, I use Byron Katie' s Four Questions to get through it, which can be used to investigate any negative thought:
- Is that true? (Yes or no, if no, move to 3)
- Can I absolutely know that to be true? (Yes or no)
- How do I react, what happens, when I believe that thought?
- Who would I be without that thought?
These simple questions and their proper use, which Katie refers to together as "The Work," have helped me to greatly reduce my stress level, and have led me to some profound insights.
Of course, I have to remember to use them, as it has not yet moved into the realm of habit, but when I do, relief is immediate and lasting.
I hope it helps you and others as well. You can access full instructions and further resources at her website, and she is featured in a number of YouTube videos, including this:
Great comment. Thanks for the rich resource. I have not heard of Byron Katie before, but I also refer to that kind of self-exploration as "the work." So that's something. haha. I like those questions a lot, and I totally know what you mean about it not yet becoming something that is habit. I have a mentor that said there are three stages of mastery: knowing what happened, knowing what is happening, and knowing what is going to happen. The more we practice and the healthier we become, the less often we have to look back at a situation that exploded and will be able to see if coming from a ways off.
You're welcome!
Smart mentor, and I totally agree. Being fully present goes a long way toward getting us there, but isn't easy in our world of distractions, so it's a process.
On my best days, I'm able to act as the observer and not get sucked into the drama. I'd love to say that that's my first instinct, but alas, not yet. But I am getting better. ;-)
Cheers to progress! And as we gain ground in our own lives, we can be there to help others along.
Indeed we can, and do.
Often the best teachers are those just a step or two ahead of us on the path, who can relate while guiding, and the guidance can sometimes work both ways. ;-)