Reasons why failing in love makes us better

Defeat has a virtue: it makes you a better person. Victory has a flaw: there is nothing to learn.

"Once I loved, I thought they would love me, but I was not loved, I was not loved for the only great reason: because it did not have to be."

"Everything lasts a moment," wrote the German poet Hölderlin (1770-1843). "Beauty is a tragic truth," thought John Keats (1795-1821); and we live without questioning our sentimental failures. But perhaps it is time to trust in the capacity of the human being to achieve self-knowledge; perhaps through reading you can find the answers that have been denied for so long.

The lack of love that oblivion brings us confuses us like an accurate blow in the ribs, and it keeps us lethargic and stooped, with a feeling of grief that incapacitates us to give back to resentment. It is not surprising that disappointment in love is even more frequent than love itself; and for that reason, the obtaining of the pleasure or of the somniferous of harmful substances are the fast exit for a group of people who do not want to think, or who fear to discover what it takes them to accept toxic relations. The fear of pain has replaced the pleasure of loving delivery, and the ability to give in is biased from a contemporary perspective based on individualism, where we will never be able to understand and resign ourselves to a loss that - in most cases - It is only part of the path to the evolution of a person.

Without stumbling, it would be impossible to notice the passage from spring to winter; we would be incapable of noticing contemporary solitude and we would be disabled to understand the unfortunate ones who, without asking, have touched this world. One of the fundamental rights of human beings should be the ability to have hope, and that is where art helps us, all those situations that seem to have no other consolation than that of fiction, since our soul gets the explanation so necessary through the vital narration of the experience.

Probably, condemned to spend our life in an impassable jail or in a city lacking people to love, a library is the only reason to look forward to the new dawn. Nobody underestimates science and conscious wisdom; the only thing that happens is that it does not provide an inner goal, a meaning for which to live. It continues to leave man essentially alone.

In the famous Oscar-winning film, The Shawshank Redemption (1994), based on Stephen King's novel, the main character, Andy Dufresne - sentenced to life in prison for a crime he did not commit - refers to the power of hope. Create a library in a room buried in dung for prisoners. Through knowledge and awareness of the souls practically buried in the darkness of the prisoners, he manages to keep the mind occupied and the feeling of hope alive in his being; he manages to survive decades in a completely unfavorable scenario for anyone innocent of the evil of the world.

The feeling of prosperity in our life is as necessary as the miracle of falling in love. To paraphrase Roberto Bolaño: "To have the courage knowing previously that you are going to be defeated and go out and fight: that is literature". So let's enjoy what life has for us, without forgetting the fall to which we are vulnerable. Do not fear failure in love or in other aspects, since defeat has a virtue: it makes you a better person. Victory has a flaw: there is nothing to learn.