Hey Chapper! :D Nice to see you around :)

I agree with you when you say that trying to make sense of who we are by means of looking somewhere outside ourselves can only lead to disappointment.

However, it is highly accepted and acknowledged both within psychology and the social sciences that it is through the interactions with family, friends, the work place, and the connections we make in our everyday life, that we learn not only about our own identities, but also about the identity of others. Many, many studies have revealed this, some among them are the ones referenced in this post :)

It is the quality of these interactions that enables us to find within ourselves, in our uniqueness, a place in the world. If these interactions are non-existent or broken, there is very little within to provide a sense of self.

Best wishes,
Abi