Dearest @godflesh, it is always a pleasure reading your writings! Your comment fascinates me in so many levels. But this particular part just made me smile a smile of admiration and respect for you:

If I don't have this problems, I would not be the person I am now. I was not going to make the things I do. I would not create music, I would not write stories and plays, I would not be so interested in literature and all kinds of things related to the spiritual.

It reminded me of an old professor of mine, who used to criticize both BTC and Psychoanalyses. He would raise these very point. He had depression, but very much like yourself, at one point he began to embrace it as something that actually made part of who he was: an insightful, educated man (just like you).

Thank you for writing your personal experience here. I am sure that it's going to open A LOT of closed minds and also inspire those of us who struggle to accept the inevitable, unavoidable difficult feelings that this life present us with!

All the best to you always! :)