Psychologists tell you: Staying single is better than being married

The idea of ​​being a single person means living better, being more closely documented, and having a very special life with a goal, a psychiatrist recently explained. But that's not all, the doctor has gone on to say that marriage's bliss is just a myth.

The amazing thing is that this statement was made by a doctor, not a doctor, which is unusual for women to read easily.

Traditional wisdom

Professor Bella DePaulo, at the annual conference of the American Psychological Society in Denver, said she wanted to challenge "traditional wisdom" that marriage helps people live longer, happier and healthier lives. She had examined more than 800 different academic studies, carried out over the past 30 years, with regard to single persons.

DePaulo, a professor at the University of California, USA, said the findings are what we are told. For example, research that makes comparisons between people who have remained unmarried with those who have experienced marriage shows that single people have a high sense of their own right to self-determination and that they are more likely to experience "the sense of continued growth and development as a human being complete".

"Other research shows that single people value and value work that is more meaningful and meaningful than married couples do," she said. Another long study of single individuals showed that self-sufficiency served them well: the more self-sufficient they were, the less likely they were to experience negative emotions. While the study showed that married couples showed opposite results.

In the United Kingdom, for example, there is clearly a tendency to remain unmarried. In 2015, there were about 16.2 million single people, compared to 23.7 million married people, according to the National Bureau of Statistics. In 2002, there were about 12.5 million single people in the UK, compared to more than 23 million married people.

Forever lonely

"I'm single, I've always been, and always will be," says Professor DePaulo. She explained that the reasons for the lack of relative popularity of the lives of single people, are reasons rarely recognized by the people, or recognize the validity.

She also said that the reason why there were increasing numbers of single people was because they wanted to be. She added that the life of celibacy allows those who chose it to live in a better life, more authentic and more obvious.

DePaulo surprised us that celibacy meant greater attachment to parents, siblings, friends, neighbors and co-workers than married men. When people marry, they become more isolated. "Being preoccupied with the dangers of loneliness can mask the profound benefits of isolation," she said.

According to the previous sentence, the idea that we focus on preoccupation with the concerns of survival on our own, makes us unable to see what in this isolation of innumerable benefits. This is one of the rules of the mind, when it focuses on something, it does not see the other things around it, especially if associated with a bad psychological state of fear or anxiety.

"It's time for a more accurate portrayal of single individuals and bachelorhood, in a way that recognizes the real strengths and flexibility of these privileged people and makes their lives meaningful," said DePaulo. She said married people were supported by "uncompromising" weddings, she said.

On the other hand, single persons are considered targets of discrimination or perceived negatively by society. This is called "Singlism", which means profiling, stigmatization, marginalization and discrimination against single persons. But academic studies do not support the prevailing idea in society: "Get married, be happier, be healthier."

People are eventually wondering where they were when they were single, says Dipaulo. In other ways, the results are exactly the opposite of what we thought. Lonely people, if they stayed single, would have been better for them, and felt the taste of the world more.
Marriage has its benefits as well

But not all studies have come to support the idea of ​​Dipaulo in absolute terms. Studies have shown clear benefits for marriage.

In a preliminary study, based on medical records, of about 25,000 people, the research team found that married people were less likely to die of heart attacks than those who lived alone. The survey showed that divorced people were worse Immediately, researchers found that divorcees had a 7% greater risk of death from heart attacks than single people. The researchers said this may be due to increased stress or social isolation they experience after divorce.

These patients were randomly diagnosed and diagnosed with heart attacks in hospitals in northern England between January 2000 and March 2013, with an average age of 67 years and more than 60% Of whom were men, according to details presented at a conference of the British Heart and Blood Association, in the city of Manchester, on Wednesday, the eighth of June.

Researchers believe that the obvious health benefits of marriage are not specific to the institution of marriage, but rather reflect clearly the idea of ​​greater psychological and physical support for married patients with a life partner next to them.

Nicholas Golub, a medical research fellow at the University of East Anglia, also made important observations regarding the time needed for recovery for these patients during their stay in the hospital and stated that married people or living with a partner had an average duration of six days in hospital Only after they have been exposed to a heart attack