ChillQuill Lights Up The Quill Grill ... "QuillFire Roast or Toast" Contest (Daughter's Edition ... My 1st Steemit Post)
The Quill
Hello Steemit. My name is Katie Savage and I’m @quillfire's daughter.
The “QuillFire Roast or Toast Post” contest you are participating in was my idea, or at least the first part was: The Roasting part. My Dad, true to form, is attempting to twist what was intended as an exercise in community flagellation, into an exercise of community congratulation. Luckily for you, I know his tricks.
Anyone who knows my Dad is probably wondering, “Katie, what are YOU complaining about? You are the most spoiled ‘Daddy’s Girl’ in history.” It’s true, my Dad is doting and I’ve never known a day that I wasn’t placed upon a pedestal.
But let me assure you, life on the pedestal is not without its challenges.
‘The Quill’ has an endless supply of Quillisms that he’s coined throughout the years and one of them is, “An Absence of Heaven, is not evidence for the Existence of Hell.” Well, the same could be said in reverse.
Imagine, for example, being Quill’s daughter and wanting to date a boy. What standards do you think your would-be-fella would have to meet in order to “pass muster?”
This is what Daddy sent to Kaleb when Kaleb started expressing interest.
My boyfriend, Kaleb, is a 'Straight A' student in nothing but Advanced Classes. He's also on the Offensive Line of the football team, has a great sense of humor and treats me with love and respect.
“But can he play chess?”
To Daddy, chess is a Rite of Passage because chess is the Game of Generals … and ‘good generalship’ is a criterion about which there can be no compromise. After all, if your boyfriend doesn’t know how to invade Normandy, how could he ever be a good husband and father? And so, before taking Kaleb home to meet Daddy, he first had to undergo a crash course in chess and pass an exam on the Battles of Gaugamela, Cannae, Austerlitz and, of course, about which there was certain to be trick questions: Leuctra, the birth place of maneuver warfare.
"So, you want to date my daughter?"
Few not-yet-eighteen-year-old girls know more about military history than I do. Indeed, it is likely I could teach the course at West Point. And guess what else? I can punch. And not just punch like a boy, I can punch like a Navy Seal. Indeed, I know a half-dozen ways to cripple a man in less than three seconds. And Daddy makes me practice. On Kaleb. And what young lady’s education would be complete without knowing a dozen French Foreign Legion Marching songs?
To my chagrin, everyone says, “Kaleb is just like your Dad.” And, now that he’s run the gauntlet and been adjudicated, “worthy,” the two have become great buds. All’s well that ends well, right? Well, now I have two highly creative guys whose idea of “funny” is grossing me out. What one doesn’t think of, the other does. And they compare notes.
You may also have noticed that Daddy is not just the kindred spirit of Alexander the Great, Hannibal and Napoleon, he’s also the soulmate of Aristotle and Archimedes. I swear, you’d think the three were childhood friends: Just three misunderstood thinkers, sitting around in their togas ruminating about the meaning of pi.
And then … there’s Shakespeare. Oh, the Bromance. Just "Will and Quill" with their feathers … and endless bottles of ink.
Imagine you’re in Elementary School and your teacher gives you some homework: Write a poem. Everyone’s only 10-years-old so the teacher probably isn’t expecting you to know the difference between an iamb and a trochee. But if you’re The Quill's daughter, there will be no, “I have a cat named Boots,” poems. It’s straight to the big leagues: A 'Savagerean Sonnet' (Shakespeare had a sonnet form named after him, so…), replete with an explanation for the teacher about the effects of poetry’s pattern-inducing-dopamine-secretions upon the Right Anterior Superior Temporal Gyrus.
You think I’m kidding, don’t you?
The Quill has an interest in politics. Unfortunately for him, the US Constitution prohibits Canadians from becoming the US President. And so, he devised a Plan B. I, an American citizen, will become President and then appoint him Secretary of Defense … and Poet Laureate … thereby fulfilling his life-long desire to conquer a continent while composing of an Ode to Himself.
You may or may not know that my Dad has a “favorite statistic:” On average, men speak 7,000 words per day; women 20,000. He finds this quite amusing. While I have no doubt that the statistic is true, it would be a daring woman indeed who would attempt to best Dad at verbosity.
You know those filibusters where a Senator can keep a vote from occurring for as long as he’s able to keep talking? Dad could paralyze Congress for a year. Those famous filibusters you read about, where Senators spend hours reading from a novel, or reciting all the names in a telephone book: Amateurs. Dad riffs for the better part of the day about cooking a can of beans … because eating beans is just not the same unless you understand, scientifically, why they make you fart.
Beans, beans the musical fruit,
The more you eat, the more you toot,
The more you toot, the better you feel,
So eat beans, beans for every meal.
"But Pumpkin ... why? Have you ever wondered why beans make you toot? Well, let me explain ..."
It’s strange though, isn’t it?
Even though the whole purpose of this Contest was to Roast ‘The Quill,’ it actually turns out to be pretty difficult to do – it makes you feel as guilty as sin. True, “Nobody’s like The Quill,” and that makes for some pretty great roasting material. But, as you light up the grill, you begin to realize … “Nobody, is like The Quill” … and that’s what makes him such an incredible friend … and such an astonishing father.
ChillQuill
Hi savagekathryn,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
▀
Hey @savagekathryn,
In an effort to try to give people more transparency and feedback on what our judges think of their posts, we thought we'd run an experiment and give people their score from teh judges.
Your post achieved a score of 4/5.
Thanks for the lovely entry to our contest. Now some posts do really well, others not so well, and some could use some improvement. We hope the above feedback is helpful in making you a star.
@dcomedyclub,
Great ... more competition! :-)
Quill
Hi chillquill it is Nice that you joined Our steemisfere ! Its Nice that your dad is building a steemfamilytree, hopefully kaleb Will join too.
Normally I give a bunch of tips but tags not nesseccary in your case because the quilldrill knows everything.
So do apply for PHC and good luck steeming dear,
And if you have questions come and find me,
Gr. Britt
Hi BrittandJosie,
Thank you for the warm welcome, and any tips you may offer in the future :)
I doubt Kaleb will join. He is a man of few words, the antithesis to my father in that regard. :-) One day, perhaps, I can bug him into it.
I definitely would love to apply to PHC, although I am uncertain about my ability to consistently post. Only time will tell! Thanks again.
ChillQuill
You are very Welcome, i think that the fact you joined is great even if kaleb doesnt 😉 maybe if its hard to consistantly post, download appics on your phone its a Free and easy app, where you post a picture directly as a blog. With a little message or text like instagram. It Quick, easy and Nice and Will generate followers and steem. When you are on instagram you can share it automatticly to here to with share-to-steem, And i use steemify ( we develloped it 🙋🏼♀️) its a Free notification app for steemit. It Will give you a message when someone voted or placed a comment.
But just take it at your own pase, resteem quills blogs than he has two places on the steemisfere time line where people can read his blogs and your account isnt inactive,
Well enough for now,
Blog to you later
Britt
Welcome to Steemit!
I am very happy to see you give Steemit a go. I think the roast idea was great and you cant blame Quill for trying to twist it into a toast lol!
I still believe you should twist him arm to read a poem or two on DTube. I think he would do well!
Hey if you run into any problems with resource credits, tell Quill to let me know and I would be happy to delegate some SP to help you out. Feel free to ask questions!
Your dad is a great guy and I am thrilled he got the ChillQuill on here :)
Hi Old-Guy (although you're not actually very old),
I've been bugging him for months to recite his poetry since SO many people recite it incorrectly - their prosody is off. Word emphasis and pause are important. I agree it is time for him to show us what he's made of!
ChillQuill
I'm laughing too hard to form coherent sentences (hmmm, I must laugh a lot... 😂), so I'll simply say - welcome to the Steemit community, and what a wicked awesomesauce way to make an entrance! 😊 💜
via GIPHY
Traciyork,
Thanks Traci. And that's a Great video! :-)
ChillQuill
HAHAHAHAHA!!! You my dear are a class act! I feel like I know "daddy" so much better now lol!!! And hats off - a really brilliant piece to hit the ground with! :) Pleasure to meet you @savagekathryn :)
Jaynie,
Thank you so much for your kind words.
Dad talks about you and Power House Creatives all the time. He thinks you are an Excellent General ... and you can take that as a High Compliment.
For the record, I tried to talk him out of that "Commander-In-Chief" pic. But, once he decides something is funny or poignant, there's no stopping him. :-)
ChillQuill
haha!! Thank you @savagekathryn ;) I quite like your dad's style and approach to life in general - so no objections from me :)
@savagekathryn
Katie, I am not going to repeat what @quillfire has already said - he says it so well. On the 7,000 to 20,000 issue, he is the anomaly. I shall not be so stupid as to suggest he might be an honourary woman, honour though that might be. I think, anyway.
One bit of wisdom from this Daddy's girl who is well into her fifth decade: once a Daddy's girl, always a Daddy's girl. And if you and Kaleb make it, good on you. If you don't, and there's another aspirant partner, you'll go through the same process for as long as the Dad's around. I know. The Husband went through it and at the time, he was well into his fifth decade. How did I know that it would be ok? I quote you
And it happened in minutes.
Before signing off (this time - I hope to read more of your posts), let me wish you well on
Fiona
@fioansfavourites,
I'm special.
Sounds like a suggestion hidden in a disclaimer ... woman!!!
Pumpkin, Fiona is wise. "I ... Am Your Father! Accept your fate, YOU are a Daddy's Girl."
Quill
.
How could I not know who my father is? You remind me every day.
btw readers, Dad and I both have light sabres, and that Star Wars video, that's what daily math tutoring looked like. Every day for 10 years.
The Dark Father. Truly.
ChillQuill
At least he wasn't Darth Vader......or perhaps he is......
@savagekathryn,
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
Would you like me to post your Report Cards since Kindergarten? It would seem like the Dark Father's teaching techniques have merit ... lassie. And, you're now an excellent swordsmen to boot.
Quill (The Original)
Hey Savage K,
First, welcome to Steemit. Secondly, my heart bleeds. Quill is your Dad?
He's evidently taught you the art of equivocation quite well. You managed to put a toast and a roast in one oven. If that was his goal, then he should be proud.
BTW, I've heard you've won a number of science fairs. It must make you feel good to know you can best your Dad. And when he sent to the garage to look for his revolving tetrameter, at whatever age you were, I hope you informed him he'll never calibrate his spondee with archaic tropes. And, for God's sake, please let him know he is not the great Iamb.
@blockurator,
She's a lucky girl. I even bestowed upon her a cool name ... "Savage."
Aristotle: "Virtue is to be found between two extremes of Vice."
Quill
Look, now we're communicating in near real-time. You're so savage.
I admit, when I first saw the name @savagekathryn, it reminded me the colloquialism my granddaughter uses. Evidently, being savage is quite keen. Hunky-dory even. Somewhat cool. And being lit's even better.
You're savage, but I'm lit. And fire, evidently. :-p
Blockurator,
Thank you for your welcome.
You should know that the only Roast Dad's truly afraid of is "Block's." He says you'll be a "merciless bastard" and won't end with something nice.
Teach him a lesson!
ChillQuill
He's right, of course. I'd be merciless. I wish I could find the time. It's been a crazy week. Alas, perhaps some day soon. :-)
Greetings Daughter-of-Quill, welcome to the Steemitsphere! And what a very interesting debut post, too!
I don't know your dad well, just from our occasional interactions through the #powerhousecreatives group and from visiting his lengthy musings on various topics. I would have to confess that I am more familiar with his philosophical side than his military historian side, but there is no doubt he loves you, Plato and Aristotle very much. And I would like to think that was correct in placing you at number one in that list...
Above all, though, you are right to say that "Nobody's like the Quill."
This is from Katie. Her RC's ran out after 3 comments.
@denmarkguy,
Thank you very much for your kind compliment.
I do take great pleasure in ranking, if only slightly, higher than Aristotle and Shakespeare. He idolizes them like no other. He has created something of a niche with all his musings (while linking himself to his idols). He's in advertising.
Perhaps The Quill will be the next Great Philosopher. :-)
ChillQuill
I hope @savagekathryn received my little gift to replenish her Mana @quillfire?
@fionasfavourites,
Hi Fiona.
Katie's working at the moment but I wanted to jump in and say thanks.
We didn't discover it until last night, but three PHC Members had delegated to her ... without saying a word: Yourself, @lynncoyle1 and @felt.buzz. My mentor, @old-guy-photos had also offered.
I'd tried to delegate earlier but we couldn't get the system to accept my Active Key. I was about to go on PHC's Discord Channel, yet again, with my IT-related woes ... when, all of a sudden, her account started working.
Magic?
In a way ... the magic of good friends and good people.
Fiona, Lynn, Buzz and Ol' Guy ... thank you. Katie will drop you all a line a bit later.
Quill
No thanks necessary, @quillfire. Only glad to pay it forward as others like @lynncoyle1 and @raymondspeaks have done for me, and which made a profound difference to my Steemit life
Posted using Partiko Android
Wow, what an amazing entry you made with first post, seems like you do got some of his traits.
Your father @quillfire is a very intellectual person and his creativity is too good. Your reference of his obsession with CHESS makes me curious to know more about him.
Welcome to Steem, wish you all the best...
@bluemist,
Shit Blue ... maybe it's me. Maybe ... I'M Charlie!!! :-)
Quill
Knowing that you also somewhat appreciate Hannibal, I think you might like this quote
()
@bluemist,
.
How does it go? ... Eat Thy Neighbor.
Here's my man, kicking some competing blockchain's ass:
.
.
While we remember Hannibal Barca as, almost unarguably, the best general in history (Alexander and Napoleon being the only other contenders), few recall that he learned the strategies and tactics that would make him legendary ... at his father's knee. Hamilcar Barca, Hannibal's father, was a famous Carthaginian general during the First Punic War between Carthage and Rome.
NO ONE imparts lessons to their children more effectively than their fathers. Fathers ... let that still your hearts.
Quill
Dad's obsession with chess is legendary.
I don’t believe there's ever been a time when he has not made a competition analogous to chess. Science Fairs and Judges? Chess. Literary Essay Competitions? Chess. Strategies for winning at Go Fish?… You guessed it, Chess.
I’m sure my father shares your interest in "wanting to know more." He is quite the social, and curious, butterfly.
And thanks for your support of PHC. Dad has talked about it a lot.
ChillQuill
@savagekathryn,
I am not a "social butterfly." I am a raptor.
Quill