Her Father's Daughter (and now she's gone)
On Thursday/Friday of this past week, I dropped off my 18-year-old daughter, Katie, at the University of Florida in Gainesville. She graduated high school with a 4.75 weighted GPA, a year's worth of university credits and USD $70,000 in scholarships ... every penny of which was awarded for "merit." She will be majoring in Biomedical Engineering and continuing her almost decade-long research into the cause of, and cure for, Alzheimer's Disease.
For those who follow this blog, you know how close Katie and I are and can imagine, I surmise, the heartbreak our separation entails. It is the end of an era, and the beginning of a new ... and we both know it.
For eighteen years, we have been each other's best friend. And for eighteen years, we've heard a refrain so often that its become part of our shared DNA:
"She is her father's daughter."
The same love of learning. The same taste in music. The same twisted sense of humor. And the same (some would say archaic) reverence for those things which once were called "noble."
Besides being her best friend, I was also her chief mentor ... and chief tormentor ... instilling in her a drive to succeed and an acceptance of the fact that no thing worth having is free. Such ambition was instilled in her in the same manner it was instilled in me ... by the French Foreign Legion. Perhaps predictably, almost everyone I know thinks my "parenting practices" and "teaching techniques" border upon the insane. Who the Hell makes 5-year-olds do push ups?
But as I told Katie and her girlfriends (I did a lot of tutoring):
I will make you very smart or very strong. If you cannot be the former, you will need to be the latter.
The expression, "Warrior-Poet," articulates the fact that human beings have two sides. Strength and beauty are not mutually exclusive, a fact that often seems unidirectional in its understanding ... perhaps explaining why the expression is not "Poet-Warrior." In any event, I reminded Katie to take time to take notice of that which is beautiful, whether in the sensibilities of Aristotle or the sentiments of Shakespeare.
If there was one thing in life at which I wished to succeed more than any other, it was in the raising of my daughter. And, if you'll forgive the conceit, it was an ambition at which I succeeded phenomenally, as evidenced by the result.
The writing of new chapters requires the turning of old pages, an insight both poignant and profound. Life moves forward, and though one is well-advised to learn from the past, one is ill-advised to live there. And so, unable to avoid the inevitable, one settles for waxing poetic.
I leave you with our favorite song. It is also Billy Joel's favorite song, written by him for his daughter. It is a song which reminds us of ourselves.
Best of luck at UF, Little One. You are brilliant and beautiful and in possession of all you will need.
And remember ... Dad is but a phone call away.
Quill
All images are linked to source, are QuillFire originals or are modifications of images in the public domain. Videos and images may also be parodies of original works, therefore relying upon applicable exemptions from copyright.
You guys know the QuillDrill. Be verbose ... but articulate.
And remember ...
Go Love a Starving Poet
For God's sake ... they're starving!
This post is manually curated by @kenny-crane and received an upvote from @SchoolForSDG4
School For SDG4
A School For Social and Educational Development of Underprivileged Children
@schoolforsdg4 & @kenny-crane,
Thanks guys ... and keep up your good work. A mind is a beautiful thing to develop, a terrible thing to waste.
Kenny, thanks mate.
Quill
You are an amazing father - Katie is really blessed. ((:
We can never know how much we owe our parents.
We never know til we are old, and never finish knowing.
I think I will realise just how much my parents did to help me become the person I am.
<3
@joeylim,
Hey Joey ... all true.
Quill
Ah, @quillfire
I was expecting this post. I feel for you. Of course you know, once a daddy's girl, always a daddy's girl.
I know.
Fiona
@fionasfavourites,
Hi Fiona.
I have always been somewhat surprised that Katie (or for that matter, every single woman I have ever met to whom it applies) doesn't object to the term, "Daddy's Girl." Being called a "Mommy's Boy" would make any self-respecting alpha-male wet his pants. Katie, despite all her independence, wears the moniker like a badge of honor and damn anyone who doesn't like it.
Quill
I've been out of university for a few years now, and all I can say is that she's not gone yet 😂
Best of luck, and congrats on the scholarships!!
@mastersa,
I hear of parents who cannot wait to have their kids leave the house ... a chance to rehab their bedrooms into offices or work-out rooms. Not me, I'd be happy for Katie to stay with me forever. She, on the other hand, is more of a realist ... she needs to grow up and have her own space.
So, her plan is for us to have two houses ... next door to one another. :-)
Of course, there is a method to her madness. She's planning on getting a Masters and a PhD ... and having a couple of kids. But do the math: That's threading the needle on the biological clock. Part of her having kids will require that they have a "daily tutor" just as she had (me). But she'll still be in school or doing a fellowship. So, if she can't tutor them herself ...
:-)
Quill
I can relate to your mixed feelings, Quill. I'll b saying good bye to mine shortly and she will be in another country. It's going to be very tough.
Good thing about Katie she is super smart, she has plenty of support, both emotional and financial, and she is a call away from Dad, as you say.
I wish her the best. I'm looking forward to her discoveries. I have plenty of relatives who can use some Alzheimer's Disease medication. :)
Beautiful song, by the way. I did not know it.
@hlezama,
Hey Henrry.
We're getting old, Ol' Boy. I'm just getting back from a bit of an absence from Steemit but I'll drop by your blog tomorrow to catch up on what's going on in your tiny piece of Hell (Venezuela for those who don't know Henrry).
Joel's rendition of "Vienna" is this video is not my favorite but I included it because of the live performance. Here's the version I prefer:
Quill
Bittersweet moment, their leaving to live their lives as adults. Been through it twice. But mine remain very close to me, and I'm sure the same will be true for you.
Such a good song. Chills.
@owasco,
Thanks for the kind words.
A fellow poet I see. Followed.
Quill
Likewise
I used to write much more poetry than I do now, but I am getting back into it here.
Nice to meet you!
Stacey
@por500bolos,
Hey mate.
I translated the lyrics ... tough song. Apropos I suppose.
Quill
Yes mate. A short separation, no matter how brief it can be, away from those who we love the most and are our close best friends in our daily life feels a bit like is expressed in this song.
However, time heals everything. And both will come strengthened from this experience as a new triumph more to celebrate.
Cheers!! :)
So much love to you both my friend
💕💕💕🙏💕💕💕
Posted using Partiko Android
@thereikiforest,
Thanks Reiki. (Insert Heart emoji here.)
Quill
Your Father/Daughter relationship is a strong bond, you have done what you set out to do, made her strong and smart, now it is up to her.
Oh the emptiness when they are away Quill, joy when arriving home with new stories, new adventures you are sure to have many good times in the future, girls always come home looking for Dad's approval or acceptance...
@joanstewart,
Hi Joan.
Katie's ready ... it's me who's the problem. Emotionally, men are simple creatures compared to women. We only have a limited set of gears and that makes "nuance" difficult. Everything we worked so hard for was in preparation for this day, but now that its here ... what am I supposed to do?
Arrrgh.
Thankfully, we have about a dozen technologies set up so that we can keep in touch. I guess that will have to do.
Quill
Best of luck at UF, Little One. You are brilliant and beautiful and in possession of all you will need.
And remember ... Dad is but a phone call away.
Been there twice now and the era that’s about to pinfold is one to watch as a new parent. To live your frat part yet again but now through her eyes and with the advice and knowledge you know of when you left your parents to do the quillthing
It’s an empty feeling of pride, it’s a sickening feeling of lonelyness, and an amputated life they way it feels but above all a way you want your kids life to be and know it will be ok cause everything goes as planned
Take quillcare
Britt
@brittandjosie,
Everything's relative. As Katie reminds me, at her age I had enrolled in the French Foreign Legion and was stationed in Africa, on the other side of the planet, and in environs that gave my parents amply opportunity to worry.
:-)
Quill