@sykochica - I think you are beautiful. Your honesty is so refreshing and I am honored to get to know you through your words and your story.
Depression definitely sucks. I've dealt with it my entire life and I spiraled downward even harder after my father died. He was really my very first BEST FRIEND. We need people in our lives who can embrace us when we're feeling weak...but those are also the people who can kick us in the ass when we've licked our wounds long enough. Mindset is so important.
One of my exercises when I'm feeling the spiral is to just keep saying "Thank you." Thank you Thank you Thank you. When I'm in the dark place, I may not know what I'm thankful about, but in my head I know there are blessings all around me, so chanting that acknowledges them in a blanket fashion...and suddenly I feel a little better.
Thank you! It's been amazing to be sharing with the community the last couple months. I'm very much an 'all or nothing' type of person, so I truly value this place where I can just go all-in.
This is soooo worth noting, specifically the loving 'kick in the ass!' It takes a very special person to be willing to give those periodic external pushes. We tend to live in a culture of 'yes men.'
I really like that exercise of "Thank you Thank you Thank you." It very much reminds me of a Buddhist mantra of sorts. I can see how that alone help to make you search for the positive while feeling drowned by the negative.
Keep Smiling and Steem On! :D