PORN ADDICTION (My personal struggles)
Hi, Im Eric, 23 years old and I watch porn to the point that it effects my life in negative ways. I first noticed that my porn habit was a problem about two years ago (at this time I was a 21 year old virgin). Once I made this discovery and found out about the "noFap" community I made it an immediate goal to not watch porn or masterbate for a whole month. I quickly learned that I had an addiction when after 5 days I relapsed.
Today, I am still addicted and the longest I've gone without watching porn in these two years is ten days.
I have lost my virginity in that time which brings me to one dysfunction in my life that is a result of my porn habit. My "porn induced erectile dysfunction". Many times when I'm attempting to engage in sex my dick doesn't get and/or stay hard. In my humble amount of sexual encounters I have only ejaculated while wearing a condom twice! Many times I can't even engage at all.
Porn also consumes hours and hours of my life. I try not to watch it and ill often go a day or two. But when I do watch it I BINGE. Often Sundays are my porn day where I stay home and watch porn for half of my waking hours. Other days I'll just stay up late and lose sleep while I masturbate to porn.
Porn hurts my ability to have relationships mainly because of the hours it consumes but also because it takes away my motivation. It also destroys my sex drive.
One reason why its so hard for me to quit is because it is my crutch. It is my solution to everything. When I am watching porn, nothing matters. Porn gives me more pure pleasure than anything else I experience, even most sexual encounters I've had. My favorite analogy for addiction in general is that it's like a best friend or a lover who doesn't want you to hang out with anyone else.
While porn does relieve my stress and provide me with great pleasure, it causes me to not live to my potential. It limits my abilities to influence the world. It limits my abilities to connect with real women.
This only scratches the surface of negative effects of porn addiction.
This sounds like a serious addiction. I think you should get some professional help for it since it is already affecting your life and your sexual relationships. You can become dependent on anything and it is never good for you. It will only get worse if you don't take care of it.
Thanks, appreciate your support!
Sorry to hear of your struggles Eric. I'm a psychotherapist who works with a lot of men who've experienced sexual trauma and porn addiction seems to be a common coping strategy for many of them. I'm not saying you have experienced this but to let you know you're not alone in this and that porn addiction is a recognised and serious condition. I would advise you to seek professional help as it sounds like this is becoming a big problem for you, impacting your quality of life and ability to be in relationships. Maybe join an online support group as this can help you feel less alone and connecting with others who will understand and are going through similar struggles can be a great source of support. I wish you all the best and hope you find a way to move through this difficult time in your life.