I dont identify any of these women as feminist. The feminist who arguably written most on sexual matters is Dwarkin.

The fact that you don't identify those women as feminists is part of your problem. It is why feminism will lose the greater thinkers from their movement, and you will be left with ideologues like Dwarkin. The capacity to think out issues will be lost because your movement will not allow (and even expel) competing ideas.

Lesbian prostitution is small to vanishing and lesbian porn production is done primarily for the male gaze

I never mentioned porn or prostitution, however, as you have mentioned it so many times, this is why I get the impression you, and others that think like you, are obsessed with sexuality. The porn industry was created to exploit men, not women. Women are not getting addicted to porn or paying for it like men are. Women are some of the biggest beneficiaries from the porn industry and they definitely get paid significantly more. Porn is a creation of progressive postmodernists, the same type of people behind hollywood.

I'm not sure how your comment about "promoting same sex relationships" fits in here.

It fits in because you mentioned anal sex being seen as natural (refer quote below) which is something that feminists advocate for in support of the lgbt community. Anal sex is all part of progressiveness, lesbians also engage in sodomy.

I guess it is just wishing that young women today had the level of sexual liberation that I had when I was young, rather than growing up in a pornified culture where anal is seen as natural

Sodomy was against the law, however liberals advocated to repeal the law, refer below.

Sodomy laws in the United States, which outlawed a variety of sexual acts, were inherited from British criminal laws with roots in the Christian religion of Late antiquity.[1] While they often targeted sexual acts between persons of the same sex, many statutes employed definitions broad enough to outlaw certain sexual acts between persons of different sexes as well, sometimes even acts between married persons.
Through the 20th century, the gradual liberalization of American sexuality led to the elimination of sodomy laws in most states. During this time, the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of sodomy laws in Bowers v. Hardwick in 1986. However, in 2003 the Supreme Court reversed the decision with Lawrence v. Texas, invalidating sodomy laws in the remaining 14 states (Alabama, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri (statewide), North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, and Virginia).
wikipedia

Feminism today has taken away women's liberties, and promotes victim-hood, and a belief that they are too weak to defend themselves and need to be protected all the time, feminism tries to infantalise women. However this is not the case, women are completely capable of looking after themselves.

The fact that you talk about "the male gaze" in itself is telling. Men actually have other things to think about than women, I know this is hard to accept because it feels like an attack on womens' egos, but it is true. You will find more and more men will have less and less interest in what you are, or do. If you don't believe this, look up japans "herbivore-men" and japans population crisis. This phenomenon can already be observed in the west. It is not because they are lazy, they actively avoid contact with women (if they were lazy they would just go with the flow) because they do not want to put up with the expense or the nonsense.

Younger men are catching on, they do not look at you as a potential mother for their children anymore, they look at you as a potential financial liability. A liability to there freedom.

In the long run this will be for the best, because those women will find it harder and harder to procreate (honestly men don't really care about this) and only women with the best attributes (mental & physical) will be able to procreate. This is already an issue for women in the west.

Life, freedom and liberty for women relies on proper reproductive healthcare, and the US is woefully lacking inthat.

If what you mean here is that you want it for free, that is not right. If reproductive healthcare is unavailable then you can blame whoever created your health care system, I believe they call it Obama care. By all means fight for your reproductive rights, but don't do it at the expense of the family, because you will be disadvantaging women the most. You probably don't have enough empathy to see it from a 'stay home moms' point of view, you would prefer to shame them for staying home and raising children.