How to Raise Kids?

Christmas came early this year for FBI after Donald Trump Jr. (son of the 45th President of the United States, Donald Trump) made a tweet of his life which also helped him secure the nomination for the “Son of the Year” award.

You might have no idea what I’m talking about, since this week you were probably too busy browsing HomeDepot.com trying to choose between acrylic or cast iron bathtubs to throw yourself and your toaster in after seeing your cryptoportfolio win gold in July’s cliff diving competition.

So what happened this week? You’ve probably heard that the President of the United States together with his team is being under investigation for possible collusion with Russian authorities, who allegedly helped him win over Hilary Clinton by providing compromising information on her. So far the investigation went slow and without much success for the FBI until Donald Jr. decided that an average of 5 thousand retweets his posts are getting is not enough and he deserves more. Hence Don Jr. decided to tweet some e-mails effectively proving his father’s election team being in contact with the Russian side.

How big of a deal this is, was perfectly described by this former The New York Times journalist:

After seeing his son's tweet, Trump Sr. probably wondered where exactly he screwed up as a parent and tried to answer the question many of us have: so how should we raise kids?

Before we start I’ll just stop you right there and say that I couldn’t care less about President Trump’s team colluding with Russia and possible results of this investigation. To me it’s a show as for many others it probably is. Ayn Rand had expressed my views on politics a long time ago: “Actors change, but the course of the tragedy remains the same. A humanitarian who starts with declarations of love for mankind and ends with a sea of blood.”

So, raising kids. I think good raising habits start with giving your kid a proper name. If you weren't creative enough to come up with a name for your kid any other than your own name, don't be surprised later when he ends up not being creative at handling the E-Mail situation. Being from the Trump family and not being able to remember the family’s motto “It’s all fake news” to protect yourself from a media shitstorm is a whole new level of non-creativity.

We all know this situation when “The New York Times” is up our ass threatening to uncover our secrets. We’ve all been there. Next time just name your baby boy Titus, indeed he’ll go through hell in public school, but it’ll make him grow strong and fiery and later he'll show “The New York Times” where they belong. And I would rather stay traditional and reserve the suffix Jr. for my Johnson.

Summary

Indeed, your kid’s life journey starts with a name and of course it should be a damn good one. But what’s more important is that you should always be there when your kid needs you the most (even if he is 39 and is the head of your 9.5 billion $ fund) and not be somewhere in Europe chilling on some summit. The fact that it’s hard to travel with kids since they can cry on planes and annoy everyone is not an excuse.

Look at this lady, she doesn’t have an Air Force One to use, all she has is a canoe. And it still doesn’t stop here from taking her two adopted kids (with a quite evident excessive hair syndrome) on her journeys:

And here to a tune that made me go "ohhh..." https://www.instagram.com/p/BVCmY9-FxbG/?taken-by=boltandkeel

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Sources of the images: 1, 2, 3, 4