So I was bored, and decided to rewrite a Pericles  speech to support Oligarchy instead of Democracy.  

Our Form of Government is Called an Oligarchy

"Our form of government is called an oligarchy because our form of government does not imitate the laws of neighboring states. On the contrary, we are rather a warning to others. Our form of government is called an oligarchy because its administration is in the hands, not of the whole people, but of a few. In the settling of private disputes, the law prefers the rich and powerful. Election to public office is made on the basis of membership to a particular class, not on the basis of ability. A man is kept out of public office by the obscurity of his social standing because of his poverty, regardless of his wish to be of service to the state. And not only in our public life are we opressed and intolerant, but a sense of opression regulates our day-to-day life with each other. We flare up in anger at our neighbor if he does what he likes. And when we do not directly accuse, we show a kind of silent disapproval that causes pain in others. In our private affairs, then, we are intolerant and enjoy giving offense. And in public affairs, we are ambivalent toward breaking a law because of the low respect we have for them. We are forced  to give our begrudging obedience to the men who hold public office from year to year; to men who pay little regard to those laws that are for the protection of the oppressed and to all the unwritten laws that we know bring disgrace upon the transgressor when they are broken.

"Let me add another point. We have had the poor judgement to provide for our spirits fewer opportunities for relaxation from hard work than other people. Instead of living balanced lives, throughout the year, there are dramatic and athletic contests and religious festivals. In our homes we find kitsch and poor taste, and the emptiness we find every day in this stops us from dreaming. And because of the dilapidation of our city, all kinds of imports flow in to us from all over the world. But while we enjoy the products of other nations, we no longer enjoy things we produce ourselves, for we have forgotten how to make them.

"The way we live differs in another respect from that of our enemies. We pretend our city is open to all the world, but unless one can afford a good enough lawyer, it is easier to enter illegally. Never-the-less we have a multitude of aliens' laws to exclude people, albeit inconsistently, from finding and seeking what they will here, and finding secrets of the city that an enemy might find out about and use to his advantage. For our security, we rely on defense contractors, and secrecy, but not on the courage that springs from our souls, when we are called into action. 

"Our love for consumerist trash makes us extravagant, and our distaste of things of the mind makes us soft. We regard wealth as the primary measure of a man, and as something to boast about. Our poor need be ashamed to admit their poverty, for we conclude they must not have done their best to escape from poverty. Our concern for our private affairs is imbalanced by our abstinence from the affairs of the city. Even people who could easily google the facts are extremely poorly informed on political matters. We do not simply regard a man who participates in the city's life as one who wishes the best for his fellow citizens, but as an egghead. We all join in debate about the affairs of the city, but only on social media, and sometimes cast votes to participate in the decisions.  We do not believe that what is damaging is to go into action in a crucial situation before the people have been fully instructed in debate. After all, we do not think that these votes lead to action."

The original speech is here: http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/athens/athens.html