a swarm of pigeons - poetry

in #poetry7 years ago (edited)

a swarm of pigeons

image

your doves are white like snow

Your eyes are beautiful like diamonds

You flutter your wings to fly

You fly freely wherever you like

The whole world you passed

You're flying tirelessly

In order to get a place you like

Wherever the ground you stand on,

that's where happiness is created

Every season you always move

Leave the old place, to a new place

In order to get the happiness of your life...!

Image source:
https://www.google.co.id/search?q=gerombolan+burung+merpati&client=ms-android-xiaomi&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjsreDGvNLZAhXMgrwKHXurC5gQ_AUIBigB&biw=360&bih=560

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I've always been curious about bird migration. I'd watch a flock fly away, zero in on one bird, and wonder exactly where that bird will be in a few days time. Who else will see it? Will it get there safely? I know this isn't actually about a bird (or maybe it is), but it just got me thinking haha. Good stuff, though! One thing I do suggest (but it's totally up to you) is to take advantage of line breaks. In your poem endless sad, for example:

On the way
Your happy days
I chose to stay quiet
in my loneliness
As they laughed over
my pain
About my love
that has left
me

I broke up the lines a bit. I think playing with line breaks can do sooooo much for a poem. In some instances, it can even change the meaning of the poem. It all depends on what you choose to emphasize and what you want the focus on (or not on). I don't know, my poetry professor last semester really encouraged playing with line breaks and ever since I've really focused on them. Totally up to you. I look forward to reading more!

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