THE POEM SERIES: THE FOURTH VERSE.

in #poetry7 years ago (edited)

RUNWAY
Bag packs,
Dresses and sneakers,
Unhooded cars,
And Firecrackers

Sun-dyed skies,
Wind kissed hair,
Runaway begins,
Nothing is left.

Hopes raised,
More than one enlisted,
The herd lifted,
Determination ignited.

Destination at reach,
New world begins,
The past engulfed in flames,
Cheers!
It’s a brand new day.

COMMENTARY
SIDE NOTE: AUTHOUR’S COMMENT
Ok, I like this poem. It was written as a fun take on hipsters and their way of life, something about unrestrained freedom of expression and longing for a new start. I can relate to this poem in some ways because I have had moments where I wanted to drive till the sunset in an unhooded (convertible) car. I have done that before though but not all the way. Still, I recommend it to people struggling with some form of stress and taking a break from the hustle/bustle of life.

So onto the poem, this is my take on the hipster culture, the feeling of being in a community and having the freedom of expression, connecting to each other as members of a pack. A similar example is that of a summer party where groups of friends drive to a secluded place to hang out and chill, also known as Spring Break.

I got the title, Runaway, from the character of the Runaway Kid in the Little Nightmares game but there is nothing else connecting the poem and the game together. I first thought that I wanted to write a poem about someone running away from their past but I felt that it was too clichéd and it didn’t hit the right notes with me. I don’t know how I was inspired to go with this direction I chose but images of mermaid hair, sundresses, sneakers and big smiles made me think that this poem was worth a shot. Also, this is a reference to summer, at least what I think of it.

This is a fairly simple poem with some complex arrangements, especially in its appearance. What make this poem impressive to me is its structure and use of words. It relies on its easy presentation and simple layout to attract the reader’s attention as well as use of two/three worded lines (in most of its verses) to make it easier for the reader to navigate the page. Simple words convey the narrative progressively and attempts to tell a coherent story with as few words as possible. For me, this is different from my writing style and is a welcomed challenge. I also think this kind of setup is wonderful to explore because of its complexity in structure and approach to storytelling. It has been done before, yes, but it would be fun to see more of such stylized poems.

So this is my take on “Runaway”.

THE CENTRAL MESSAGE
The central message of the poem is freedom and solidarity. It depicts the journey to a new destination, a paradise, by a group of people. The main character is not a single individual but the collective voices of the group. The narrator is a further (3rd) removed entity that attempts to put together a storyline to share with the reader based on the structure of the events presented to him.

PROGRESSIVE THEMES IN THE POEM
As stated above, the main theme of the poem is freedom and solidarity. It tells the story of a group of people who resolve to leave their places of comfort in search of their own paradise. It is also implied that the movement started from a single individual and spread far to enamour the hearts of other people.

What I find unique about poem is the interesting position of the narrator. Unlike my other poems, there is no main character but there is a central figure, which is the group embarking on a trip. The poem is modelled in such a way that the persona of the narrator is dependent solely on the progression of the narrative. It can be argued that the narrator is an omnipotent character operating from a third person perspective but it should be noted that he is still relies on the events provided by the narrative to provide a coherent storyline to the reader.

And this all comes down to the structure of the poem. The seemingly detached words coming together to make a narrative gives a unique perspective to the overall arc of the poem. The structure appears to be simple with steady rhythmic stanzas and simple word usage but this couldn’t be more misleading. The poem makes use of complex poetry devices like quatrain stanzas, heavy reliance on rhyme, imagery and clever word association to construct a seamless narrative flow. The main intent of this poem was to create a story about a group of runaways with as little words as possible, using conventional/traditional poem devices, without compromising its set structure, which it achieved fairly well.

Therefore, it can be said that the centre focus of this work is the structure of the poem, which carries the weight of the narrative (which is the story elements) and by extension, influences/determines the position of the narrator. The readers are placed in the position of power as the structure of the poem serves to entertain and is made easy to associate with, thereby curtailing the power of the narrator to a simple story teller that recounts already complete events.

IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS
There are four stanzas in total, three standard quatrains and an odd numbered one. Each stanza serves to perform as a run-along act where one context runs into the other until the final line of the poem. This is because the narrative is constructed around the structure of the poem and as a result, the structure should be treated as a crucial aspect of the analysis. Also, there is heavy use of imagery prevalent throughout the poem.

In the first stanza, we are introduced to the runaways. We are treated to the image of a journey of a group of people about to embark on a trip.

01-Bag packs: the beginning of a trip
02-Dresses and sneakers: an allegory for both men and women
03-Unhooded cars: mode of transport
04-And Firecrackers: a symbol of freedom and daring

The overhead view of this stanza shows a group of both men and women with backpacks riding in unhooded cars, lightening firecrackers about to embark on a journey. There are elements of freedom and the hunger of adventure as seen in lines 1, 3 and 4.

The stanza introduces the reoccurring elements of the poem such as the central narrative of freedom and longing for adventure, allegories to substitute long descriptions and heavy use of imagery. It also introduces the perspective of the narrator as a 3rd removed entity who recounts a bird eye view of the events unfolding. These elements will be prevalent in every stanza of the poem.

In the second stanza, the trip is the central focus.

05-Sun-dyed skies: a clear day for travelling
06-Wind kissed hair: the movement of the car and an allegory for freedom
07-Runaway begins: the central theme of the poem
08-Nothing is left: a departure from previous ideals

In this stanza, it shows the image of being on a road trip. There is a correlation between word association and imagery especially in line 05-06 as sun-kissed skies as an allegory for clarity or an open ‘canvas’ and wind kissed hair serves as another allegory to freedom. Lines 07-08 takes a different turn as they carry the main crux of the poem. Still, this stanza is a follow-up to first one and tells the reader that they (the group) are now enroute to their destination.

The third stanza discusses the mentality of the group as well as its origins.

09-Hopes raised: high prospect for better future
10-More than one enlisted: more than one people in support of a cause
11-The herd lifted: an allegory to the group bounded by a cause
12-Determination ignited: a driving passion to succeed

Here, the prevalent desire for a fresh start is more pronounced in this stanza and serves as the central mentality of the group, especially in line 2 which hints that the movement started with an individual who wanted to embark on journey to find a new paradise and ended up with an entire group of people ready to support the cause. The ‘herd’ in line 11 follows him and determination is spread through the reformed group.

An important side note is that the term ‘group’ in some instances can seem like a cult of sorts but I can say with certainty that this is not the original intent. The term is meant to serve as a symbolism for freedom and a longing for adventure, which still evolves around the central themes. So there are no hidden implications behind the word use.

In the fourth and final stanza, there is a peak where the group have finally reached their destination.

13-Destination at reach: goal achieved
14-New world begins: a new dawn for change
15-The past engulfed in flames: no going back to old ways
16-Cheers!: a happy declaration
17-It’s a brand new day: it’s a new paradise

This details the ends of their trip and their arrival at their destination. It details them getting closer to their goal in line 13 and the effect of achieving such a feat is seen as a new word begins. They reinforce their rejection of past beliefs (in line 15) and at the declaration (line 16), they finally reach their paradise (line 17). Their hopes and dreams lies with their new abode while a happy declaration shows a renew growth for the group in future.

FINAL THOUGHTS.
This took me a while to complete, almost a week. To be honest, I needed a break and my brother was getting married so I took that time off. PS, I am also sick.

I really struggled with this little gem. I didn’t have that much confidence in this work, so much that I am still quite anxious to post it. This is because I had to really reach into my deepest mind to get something worth of deep analysis for the piece. It isn’t a bad work by any means, just that the sentiment behind it isn’t as intriguing as my other analysis. It is meant to be simple and I wanted to explain how simplicity can help accomplish or inspire a beautiful piece, only to realize how complex that idea was. Regardless, this is the best I could go without being too snotty. But that’s fine to feel like this at times as a creator.

Now, the poem itself is nice and heartfelt. It you crave for some form of freedom or you are a free spirit, this is right up your alley. If you also enjoy summer breaks and the flair for adventure, you might see this as a nice little piece. I think there is something in there for everyone reading.

However, if this analysis is a bit inconsistent, forgive it. It really tried to give meaning to subconscious thought and that itself is quite a feat to achieve, if I say so. Still, thank you very much for reading and see you soon in the next one.

Much love and Respect
Dammie

As a side note, I might only be able to post these 2-3 times a week hopefully. I do have a full-time job and it takes a lot of time to compose a single post. Just as a heads up, people. Thanks for the understanding!

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Hello williamdidi! Thanks for sharing. Keep writing good quality content and let's grow the community together.

thank you so much for reading. i am really honoured to be a part of the community too.

Excellent poem and I love, love how you break it down for the reader to have a peek into the author's mind and his intentions!

Wow love the way you do an analysis of your own poem.

Here's to freedom and solidarity!